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I was diagnosed with ADD as a child they told me when I turned 15 that I had to learn how to deal with it and I thought I did.  I have been married now for 8 years and I thought everything was great sure me and my wife had are problems but it was not till I deployed were I am currently at that I found out she was thinking about divorce because she could not take the way I have been acting.  I look back at the things I have done ie being distracted when she was trying to have a real conversation, not being involved in what she is into, Always thinking about what I wanted to do, irratating

Hello,

I just found this website today, and boy am I ever glad I did. I have been reading through some posts about frustrated ADHD spouses, and I find that my situation isn't so different from any of yours.

My husband and I have been together for 3 years, married nearly 1. He told me that he had ADHD when we first began dating, but I didn't feel like it would have a big impact on our relationship. I know now that I was wrong.

While I can't say I have "enjoyed" reading everyone's stories here, it is good to know I'm not the only one.

I am married to someone that is a living, breathing, trainwreck. He has ADHD and more recently we found out he also seems to have a personality disorder. We are stuck in the same cycle. Things are bad, he gets help, takes his meds, best husband ever! Things get good he refuses to take his meds everyday, he knows better than anyone else, he can do no wrong at work because everyone is his BFF and would NEVER fire him (gosh no!), he's a tax expert, a doctor, and even if you tell him you've been there /done that and he hasn't, he STILL knows better than you.

I'm not sure if I should be posting here because a.  I'm diagnosed with dyspraxia and 'attention disorder', not adhd and

                                                                             b. I'm not married.

My Dh and I met tonight and I was under the impression that we were working on a plan to get our marriage back on track, offer up what we each need to work on and let each other know what we need and that we can work towards happiness together. I was so hopeful that this was going to be the point where we would stop spiraling out of control and get back on track - like we were starting to in late last Nov 2010. Well, I was duped. 

I need to talk to an expert, but I don’t know who.

Here’s the situation: I am the non-ADHD spouse of an ADHD husband. He was diagnosed about 18 months ago and has been taking medication – with some improvements. We have many issues -- too many to go into here – that I can attribute to his ADHD.

Ok...Two things.

Im the non-ADHD spouse - married to hubby for 10 years, diagnosed only 8 months ago.  He really is a lovely guy and I do love him, but we are in such trouble that it seems as though we may be heading for the divorce route.  Medications make symptom control better but not perfect... but the issue seems to be that I cant move on from the past hurt, anger, resentment and frustration.  As much as I want to and try, I cant forget everything his untreated ADHD put me through.

I know I'm suppose to be patient and positive, and Lord knows I've been trying, but I'm having huge issues with the emotional over reactions on the part of my ADDer.

They come in bursts and are usually very short lived (as long as I don't engage) and completely out of left field. But when they happen they leave me feeling very sad and like giving up on 'us' completely.