Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello all...first off, I'm a newbie and have been reading a lot of the posts here.  Some give me hope, some scare the living dayligths out of me and some the jury is still out on.  But I am incredibly thankful a place like this exists.

I have been married for over 2 years and been with my husband for 4 years.  We've been through couples counseling for the past 2.5 years and it took a random article that I happened to come across on the internet that made the light bulb go off.  It was an article about adult ADHD and it seemed like someone was telling me about my marriage.

I am going to tread carefully here. First, this is not in referance to anyone here. I thought about what my hubby had yelled at me the other day. He said Do not ever tell me what I am thinking, I don't even know what I am thinking half the time. I was upset at first but he is right. I can ASK him what he is thinking, but speculating is just that, guessing ,speculating and that can go down roads I don't want to. It's a lot like jumping to conclusions.

I seem to see a lot of posts where one partner is convinced or suspicious the other has ADHD and they are running into resistance getting their spouse to acknowledge their condition or to seek out professional help.  My problem is just the opposite--I am in the middle of a legal separation (Same as a divorce in California for property rights, custody, etc, but still technically married at the end) and I never thought about ADHD.  I thought it was something over diagnosed and over prescribed and that ADHD was just a clinical name for people with a lack of willpower.

/

I had a long talk with my ADD partner last night.

I told him that I feel our relationship lacks joy, laughter, fun, peace, intimacy, life, connection, communication... etc, etc.

I expressed to him that I am aware all of these things are as a result of poorly treated/managed ADD symptoms.

I also expressed to him that from what I read this is also why I'm losing my sh*t and reacting with so much anger and bitterness, sadness and resentment. 

So here we are again.  I just recently got Melissa's book The ADHD effect on Marriage.  First day we got it, the both of us read the first 7 pages.  Since then, I am the only one reading.  So far, I understand more now about ADHD, the descriptions, feelings, situations describe my husband and I to the "T".  I am not completely done with the book but so far I have been doing things differently as far as talking to my husband.  I decided to go ahead and stop the nagging and approach him in different ways.  Although this has put him in a happier mood, I am still here feeling the same, only n

/

There's gotta be more than just Melissa and Dr. Hallowell on here that have a happy ADD marriage and a story to go along with it. I'd love to get some inspiration from these happy couples! Tell me your story!!! How and when did your ADD relationship turn around. Some detail about what tools you and your partner used along the way. Does it *stay* happy or is it always an up and down roller coaster that you've now just become accustom to?

Help! Please give me some hope and some joy!!! 

I don't know what it was that actually made me go right over the edge but I'm there.

We've started counseling and the counselor suggested we work on one issue at a time. So, we thought tackling the household chore imbalance issue would be a great easy place to start.

We were told to get a white board and hang it somewhere visible (kitchen), sit down with each other once a week and put on the white board all the chores that would need to be done within that week or so.

/