Hi,
Does anyone have any advice about how people with ADHD can get a bit better in social situations? My partner has ADHD, we have 2 very young children together, he is untreated and everything has just come to a head recently over lots of things but mainly the effect ADHD is having on our relationship. He is seeing the doctor later this week to see about starting some meds and maybe counselling but to be honest I don't feel his heart is really in it at all.
I am so overwhelmed and frustrated with my husband's ADHD symptoms. I know he has it but he refuses to go for testing or get help. He was a premature baby in an incubator for at least a month. He has severe attention problems, organization, etc. To the point where he can't even attend long enough to close a cupboard door after he opens it. Seriously, after he is in the kitchen, its like a tornado hit.
Initially it seemed like the Vyvance was working but recent events are making both of us wonder if my husbands Vyvance is really working. My questions are the following.
1. What do you feel the medication helps with that counciling and coping mechenisms do not and vice versa?
2. My husband describing his feeling on his meds as the entire process of being distracted being sped up. He still gets distracted but his brain moves through the distraction very fast.
..that I thought definitely applied to many of us here..
It is just something I heard on one of my ebooks (Five Love Languages) on my iPod this morning and it really goes along with what Melissa is always trying to stress. A few key points I thought were worth sharing..
Today was our first couples session with a therapist who specializes in ADHD and it was AWESOME!!!! :))))
Even my ADHD partner who completely resisted the idea of therapy, let alone thinking ADHD had an impact on anything, loved it too!!!!
All we needed was someone who understands BOTH OF US and could calmly clarify our feelings and needs without strong underlying emotions! We're both starting to understand, and this was just our first session!
I posted this in the Hope forum, because I guess that's what I want to hear about...hope.
I am not sure yet, but my own diagnosis of my husband is a form of adhd.
One symptom is watering. He waters plants, trees, and the grass with the hose for hours. HE thinks he is doing something important. When I come home and ask what he has done say for the last 3 hours, I can see all the puddles and wet sidewalks. He waters sometimes daily, sometimes only 3 times a week. But even when it has rained the day before, he waters.
I've been with my husband for 6 years and now married for only 3 months. He said he may have a bit of ADHD but was never diagnosed as such. He has a union job and used up all his vacation and sick time within three months and now he uses FMLA to take days off. He got it for his back, but hardly any of the times he takes off are because of that. He is on day 3 of calling in sick. I get home and find him there in his pjs, playing his online game, drinking beer. If he called in sick and actually did something productive it wouldn't be as bad, but he does nothing.
After living with my husband for 32 years, and suffering , grief, loss, being constantly lonely, raising 3 children almost single handedly and working to make ends meet, while he squandered our money, spent most of his spare time out enjoying his latest hobby (hyperfocus) completely oblivious to how much I was hurting, I finally found out that he has ADHD - He is still in denial, but at least has attended 1 appointment with a Psychiatrist after I threatened to leave 2 months ago.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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