Recent forum posts (all topics)

A lot of people have shared the experience of a partner with ADD whose focus and attention is fairly consistently "on" at work or maybe in some social situations, but somehow switches off when they are at home.  It has a few interesting consequences ...

- It adds to the difficulty of diagnosis, and of persuading anyone (including them) that the issues are real

Hi All,

Check out the video section at the Caddac web site.  Amazing video lectures!!

The 3 ADHD  Executive Function videos by Russell Barkley take a little time to watch, but will really help you understand your spouse.  He talks about the problems with self regulation in a way that I could  finally understand what was happening.  Best of luck.

(Note from Melissa Orlov - I took the link out of the title area, and put it in the body copy of this post so people could follow it.)

I cannot believe, the two of us kind hearted, compassionate, intelligent people are where we are today! Our fights are downright mentally and emotionally abusive! We lack respect for one another and the defensiveness on my ADD partners part is freakin' ridiculous! The communication is so lacking its a wonder we haven't seriously lost it by this point.

And now a wonderful note sent to me by my awesome neighbor who WAS a good friend:

Please somebody give me some advise, anyone please, any knowledge on the subject, even if you don't think it would help, tell me anyway.

I found this site by accident recently. Reading the posts brings of unpleasant memories to the surface.

I am the Non-ADHD partner and have lived with my husband for the past 9 years. I have been "taking care" of him almost from the start, without realizing it until later in the relationship. I knew there was something going on with him, but kind of equated it to him being a Momma's boy or the youngest child. Now years later, I have a lot of anger and resentment towards our situation and have wasted years catering to him like he was a child that I had to pick up and look after.

My husband has ADHD. We are having a problem with parking tickets. He been getting ticket almost every week or other weeks. He doesn't pay them and hide them. I remind him to pay them. First, I get angry for getting the ticket in the first place because of his careless. Then, I said okay you got the ticket and now you need to pay it. He still doesn't do that. By the time I keep reminding him... he gets another ticket. He doesn't work. I am the one end up paying all the tickets with fine.  I need help here. What am I suppose to do? As of right now... we have 2 outstanding tickets.

I just wrote this post in another thread and thought it warranted a thread of it's own.  I could really use some help here!

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I am feeling VERY disconnected from my wife.  And for me, the most important way to feel connected is through conversation.

I experience all kinds of disconnects when in conversation with my wife:

- I ask a question which she doesn't answer = disconnect

- I am talking about something and I can see she is distracted by the look on her face = disconnect

I've just about given up after thirty years of marriage. His adhd therapist (adhd himself) told him that it's a matter of good communication to solve the problems in our marriage. He says he has no problems with communications at work and other people only with me. My husband believes that our problems stem from the differences in the male and female brain. I agree that with a normal male and female relationship that is true. Men and women approached communicating with different patterns only he doesn't have the "normal" male brain.

I am the ADHDer in the house and we fight about things a lot but mostly me forgetting. She is aware that I have adhd but I feel that she does not really get it. I just want to know if it is unreasonable for me to ask her to help me to remember important things?