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My husband has ADHD. I do not. We have two little kids. It's been a long, long road and things are not good. So he's on day 4 of trying Strattera. I was reading all about how alcohol can make things worse and we sat down last week and talked about it and we both agreed he wouldn't drink any alcohol for a few weeks after starting. But then on day 2 he drank three beers. I said the next day- wait a sec, I thought we both agreed. He said- I didn't think we made that official. OMG!

I often sit at night alone, crying, wondering why this is my life. He says I’m important, he says I’m his everything, but when it comes to us spending quality time together, he has other things he rather do. He relies on me to lead the way in cooking, organizing our lives, supporting him through tough times and taking care of our son. And like the fool I am, I do. When it comes to my basic needs, simple requirements from a partner, or reciprocal love, it’s seems to be a foreign concept to him or often under the impression that he’s doing his part.

Many of us (me for sure) have leaned on the word denial, when it comes to our spouses choices, and living of life...But is it?...Is their choices denial, or just adult choices? Is your choices denial? Are do you own your choices, and behaviors in life?

My wife isn't blind to her choices, she isn't ignorant either...She is intelligent despite her high level add mind....

So why did I decide her refusal to openly communicate about her life choices (Things she pursue's, and the things she choose's to mostly ignore) is some how a mind of denial toward those responsibilities?

My husband and I have been married for 5 years. In the beginning he was thoughtful, fun, etc and I had me we been happier in my life. After we got married things started to change. He has become unreliable and downright all over the place. Sometimes I feel like I have to do everything. I'm a RN with a stressful job and I feel like I always pick up the slack. The only thing I can depend on is knowing that he won't get it done. I feel HORRIBLE for talking so bad about him but I'm suffering.

Hello,

My wife is finally going to see someone who appears to be qualified to diagnose ADHD in adults.  The psychologist is the chair of a county CHADD chapter and wants to do things correctly--gather feedback from relatives, take three meetings before deciding, etc.

Is this pattern familiar to anyone? I'm extremely frustrated right now.

Me: [Says X]

Them: Why do you have to be so Y?

Me: I'm not Y, and here's the reason.

Them: You never listen!

Me: Of course I listen! You just called me Y, and I disagreed.

Them: I didn't call you Y. I told you that when you say X, you sound Y.

Me: Well, I don't apologize for saying X, and I don't think it makes me Y.

Them: Why can't you validate my feelings?

Me: I'm not going to agree with you that I'm Y just to make you feel better.

I would like to thank all of you who have given me another perspective, and for providing invaluable support over the last 5 years.  It means so much to have others to bounce ideas off of, without fear of being judged.  I have found acceptance here...Thank You.

Now for my question.

How do I stop knee-jerk reacting to my fiance's actions and behaviors?  "Just stop" is easier said than done.  Things have been going well between us, even in this time of pandemic.

I am really just ranting as this is a rhetorical question, but my goodness, why does ALL the work have to be mine? My ADHD husband is unemployed. His days are filled with nothing and anything he wants, typically staring at a computer screen. I continue to work, parent and run the household.

Following last week's Facebook post of my wife right next to someone without a mask, she told me that she wants to go to a local restaurant with this friend.  I said that it was not safe because they would be eating without masks within six feet of each other.  Then she said they would get takeout and go to the park.