-
by: Shellbell -
Your story felt so real to me. I have tried what you have accomplished. How you just don't let it bother you, don't take it personally, and you basically live your best single life for you. But it only lasts for less than a week and I'm so lonely inside for a real partner I cave. I wish I could hurt him like he's hurt me, but what's the point he wouldn't even notice it. Wish I married a real man>>> on Forum topic - Absolutely no sympathy from husband when I'm sick! In fact, it seems to be my fault!
-
by: LostinTucson -
I cried reading your post. I could have written it. I am so done yet so trapped. I think I actually hate my husband right now but can’t get my stupid arse to get out.>>> on Forum topic - Radical acceptance
-
by: c ur self -
Yes, we can get them there, but, no we cannot make them accept the effects of their reality on others...Especially a spouse... I could write a lot about how friends, co-workers and even children get to experience a different person than the spouse...But I want... Most of us aren't willing to hand over a list of things that they need to work on...Most of us aren't willing to place demands on them...I did, but, all it lead to was my divorce...Which I knew to begin with, and is the reason, I...>>> on Forum topic - Protecting Myself
-
by: c ur self -
I agree...One being loving and devoted, can never create a right relationship for the two...>>> on Forum topic - One month divorced...
-
by: honestly -
I think that state can persist for quite some time - the ‘I’ve had enough but I’m still here phase’. It took me two years to break out after I had had enough, and I really had to hit rock bottom (suicidal ideation) before I could. It doesn’t sound like he has any real idea of how much you are struggling (he is focussed on his wants - he wants ‘to enjoy his trip’, wants you to just ‘agree with him’). I’m not going to suggest you leave because you already know you want to. The next step, imho, is...>>> on Forum topic - when enough is enough...but I'm still here!?!?!?
-
by: Swedish coast -
Exactly this. During divorce mine declared I was no longer to mention his ADD to other people, like the children’s friends. A bit late since it was up to that point no secret. I understood he no longer wants the diagnosis to define him, but to be his own private little thing. Which he is heavily medicated and on part time for, and which makes him unable to do many normal things people do for their children. Of course, moving out made him less aware of things he cannot do, and describing me as...>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: honestly -
I once tried to explain my inability to chat and hang out following our separation by suggesting he read this site and look at how so many other partners of people with ADHD felt. His response was to state ‘I understand your feelings’ and then tell me how ADHD did not define him. No indication that he could learn, grow, or contextualise, or maybe just do something for my sake, to make things easier or better for me, just that he already ‘understood’ because of course he understands, without even...>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: Swedish coast -
Thinking about it, there’s no reason their obliviousness should make us explain why we want nothing to do with them. If someone is bad enough as a partner, being manipulative and abusive, taking advantage et cetera, they at some point don’t deserve explanations. I feel this is the thing about this upcoming therapy session. I’m afraid it will be hours of me explaining why I don’t want anything to do with him and him offering nothing as usual. It will put me in a defensive position,...>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: honestly -
I literally just did this this evening. We were supposed to talk at swapover time (we are splitting time in family home) and yet I found myself running for the car with my bags before he got there (kids were in school / visiting friends so it didn’t impact them). My heart was racing and my hands were shaking and I juat texted and said Sorry, No, Can’t, and drove off. And he’s disappointed and I don’t even fully understand it myself, but I was so relieved to see your post and see that this, too, is a...>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: Off the roller ... -
Good girlfiends and trips abroad also helped. They were very difficult to manage but worth it.>>> on Forum topic - Bait and switch marriage
-
by: honestly -
She has shown you who she is. Believe her. Chasing her will only bring you deeper misery.>>> on Forum topic - Break up with ADHD partner
-
by: honestly -
you sound like me talking to a friend. ‘Pretzel’ and ‘stand’ are both common in my vocabulary. It’s uncanny. (I left him; I had to).>>> on Forum topic - Radical acceptance
-
by: honestly -
had dementia; I realise now that he also had ADHD. The link is visible- some ADHD behaviours are so close to dementia anyway. I feel for you. X>>> on Forum topic - Aging with ADHD
-
by: Swedish coast -
Thank you for validating my feelings. I want to run, too.>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: Swedish coast -
I’d assume she has some reason to leave that is beyond your control. Chasing a person will just make one miserable, Ive found. Especially with ADHD and avoidance, there are depths of misery there for a neurotypical partner that I believe you wouldn’t want to experience. Sorry you’ve lost your fiancée. It must be so painful.>>> on Forum topic - Break up with ADHD partner
-
by: honestly -
that this is constructive or helpful or anything at all. It’s just my instincts kicking in and though he wants to talk i just wanna disappear in a cloud of roadrunner legs and dust. I think it’s because I’ve been (unintentionally?) gaslit for so long into believing I’m the bad guy, and because I’ve again and again been suckered into doing the work while he just reverts to type. I can’t get on that merry-go-round again. So I just run.>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: 1Melody1 -
I feel your pain because I stayed in this place for such a long time. Maybe you feel what I did... I stayed there because I simply had no good options. Staying was bad. Leaving was bad. Staying was killing me emotionally and physically while leaving seemed like it would be the hardest thing I would ever face (and I knew would be doing it with lowest resources and energy I'd ever had in my life). I think I had to get to the place where I knew I had to leave. A switch flipped one day. That made...>>> on Forum topic - when enough is enough...but I'm still here!?!?!?
-
by: honestly -
Um; I run away. He’s friendly and wants to chat and I just want to run away.>>> on Forum topic - Post divorce couples therapy
-
by: LostinTucson -
This is wonderful advice. I will definitely use it!>>> on Forum topic - Bait and switch marriage
-
by: J -
I'll send some pics of my machines when I'm finished. Today, I put new shocks on my vehicle to add to the new brakes I did last week. I'll run out of cars and household things to fix or repair but I doing productive and money saving jobs right now too. As soon as I'm out of home and auto repair...I'll be full time into launching my new business. I've already created tye space, now I have to finish the machines and get to making jewelry!! I have almost everything I need already so it won't be too long...>>> on Forum topic - Getting fired and doing Something Different
Learn to thrive in your relationship
Upcoming seminars & support groups
Turn your knowledge into actionable steps to improve your relationship. join our Intent-to-Action Membership Program.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
Register for free marriage tips here!
"Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."
Free Treatment E-Book
