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by: Swedish coast -
I truly don’t see this myself so your time and perspective reasoning is extremely helpful. The koolaid! The pirate ship! Time while I potter about trying to recover perhaps will help in itself. I know you are going through very hard times, so I’m moved you take time to post this. Hoping you are well.>>> on Forum topic - Rebuilding social life
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by: anonym -
few years before my split finalized last year from a diagnosed ADHD spouse, i used to come to this site for support from uninvolved strangers and it was very helpful. also m.orlov's insights were bang on for my actual experience, and i had some phone/COVID councilling sessions with melissa which my partner rejected and rolled her eyes now that we don't live together anymore it is almost worse, in terms of coordinating our kids and reliabilty and her making an effort and being respectful...>>> on Forum topic - Six Years with ADHD + Unknown Partner
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by: Off the roller ... -
Oh Swedish, I'm so sorry. it sounds like you're in a lot of pain and sorrow but I came on here (after a small break when heavy stuff has hit thr fan) to lend some support in (hopefully) a way that might give you some resolve and maybe some additional perspective? 1.5 years is a packet of kool-aid in the ocean compared to the 15+ years that you've endured - and yes I mean endured. And I don't want you to feel like it's never going to change but I've been following your story and you HAVE been...>>> on Forum topic - Rebuilding social life
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by: adhd32 -
43 year marriage here and I relate completely. I wanted to respond so that you know you are being heard. I have been on and off the forum and check in once in a while and saw your post. I will respond again when I have time to formulate a concise reply. I started to respond and it went into a rambling post.>>> on Forum topic - Protecting Myself
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by: AdeleS6845 -
What does this have to do with ADHD and marriage/relationships ?>>> on Forum topic - EXPERT IN BITCOIN AND CRYPTO SCAM RECOVERY - iBOLT CYBER HACKER
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by: amespie78 -
I relate so much to just wanting peace. We, too, are on thin ice and he wants out because he thinks he'd be happier alone - ha! I'm sure he would! He's gaslit me for years to make me believe that I was the problem because I couldn't 'empathize' with him. At the same time he's never empathized with me for having to take on so much while he spaced off into lala land with video games and alcohol and porn and work. He tells me I 'chose' to take on so much. Pffft. I isolated myself from friends and family...>>> on Forum topic - Stuck in quicksand
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by: adhd32 -
He has chosen maladaptive behaviors to cope. It's easier to drown out the feelings instead of dealing w them. Many of his actions are detrimental to a loving relationship especially cheating and porn. What is he teaching your children? You are teaching them that this lifestyle is acceptable. What are you holding on to? What would you tell your beloved sister if this were her life? Consider therapy for yourself to figure out why you accept this life. You didn't cause this and you cannot fix it. No...>>> on Forum topic - A small revelation
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by: adhd32 -
Dupe. Sorry.>>> on Forum topic - Perpetual Cycle of Hurt
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by: adhd32 -
Put down your phone or game controller and wash the dishes. Get the kids bathed and ready for bed. Vacuum the floors. Scrub the toilet. Cook dinner. Make your own appointments. Focus on your grooming. Wash and fold the clothes. Get help for your condition and follow the advice. Get a coach. Hold yourself accountable. Ask her what you can do to help and then do it with a grateful heart. Ask her on a surprise date and arrange childcare and dinner reservation. Be an engaged partner not someone...>>> on Forum topic - Perpetual Cycle of Hurt
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by: Swedish coast -
Sorry she’s angry with you. I’ve been the non partner. There’s one thing I’ve found: the outcome does matter to the non partner. No matter how good your intentions are, and how loving you are, she will feel you’re disinterested if you don’t listen to her. You really can’t expect a non partner to not react to their perceptions. All humans do. If her senses tells her something, she’ll believe it, no matter what diagnose or symptom on your part can be blamed for it. I guess her anger is a...>>> on Forum topic - Perpetual Cycle of Hurt
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by: amespie78 -
I recently posted on a women's relationship page about how I seem to be overly focused on my husband's behaviors that deeply impact how I look at him - to the point of disgust and contempt. Behaviors like excessive video gaming, excessive drinking and eating (gluttony), porn addiction & masturbation, limitless spending, no desire for physical well-being, poor time management and focus, etc. . . I know I should focus on my own page, and I do plenty and am very aware, but these behaviors have...>>> on Forum topic - A small revelation
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by: honestly -
Absolutely brilliant observation. Thank you for this. It perfectly encapsulates how I have been feeling. Also: poor child.>>> on Forum topic - A small revelation
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by: Swedish coast -
I relate to absolutely everything you wrote. For me, reading it is validating and adds nuance, so please don’t feel selfish. It’s strange to know in hindsight a disability in somebody else has transformed one into a caretaker. My friends who go way back tell me it’s out of character. So my entire adult life is out of character. And the unhappiness, the desperate attempts to secure things that mattered, the social isolation, that was all just side effects of somebody else’s difficulties...>>> on Forum topic - Protecting Myself
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by: TXlady -
I am married to an ADHD man who has been blessed with many talents and abilities and is successful in his career. He can be very fun, intuitive, thoughtful, and attentive. His impulsiveness has been limited to not speaking to others with a filter (which can lead to embarrassment, hurt feelings and anger) and buying the occasional expensive purchase we may or may not use. So in comparison to some stories on here that is pretty mild. On the flip side he is: forgetful-he manages to remember (at...>>> on Forum topic - Finally Divorcing My ADHD Husband
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by: aloneintwo -
In the trenches. Jobless but looking. I still have hope. But yes from happy go lucky to irritated repeatedly>>> on Forum topic - What do you do when you can't rely on your spouse?
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by: Ethan_Cole05 -
I'm so sorry you're going through this — no one deserves to feel unsafe or scared in their own relationship. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's okay to acknowledge how deeply this is affecting you. Please take care of yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional who can support you through this. is comment ka tital kya do '>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: Ethan_Cole05 -
I'm so sorry you're going through this — no one deserves to feel unsafe or scared in their own relationship. Your feelings are completely valid, and it's okay to acknowledge how deeply this is affecting you. Please take care of yourself and consider reaching out to someone you trust or a professional who can support you through this.>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: adhd32 -
Sometimes friends see more than we think. Maybe they are relieved that you are out of the marriage and finally able to be you. Maybe they saw you for the first time being relaxed and confident without the worry of what your ex would do or say at the gathering. I'm glad you are rebuilding your life and have chosen to get out and do things that are difficult for you. Moving on is hard, staying stuck is easy. Glad you chose the challenge.>>> on Forum topic - Please help
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by: adhd32 -
Sorry for this, I know how it feels. My undiagnosed ADHD husband did something similar on my birthday after having a very nice dinner. He just went out of control out of nowhere when I mentioned that there was a new a traffic pattern on the road ahead. I thought he would have preferred to take an alternate route before getting stuck without any other options. But he went off the rails without any provocation, screaming at me because "he has been driving for xx years and doesn't need to be told...>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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by: Tampopo -
Hi! New here and wanting to say… I stumbled on this site just after going through an exact “happy chat direct road to screaming” event with my ADHD partner, and I’m currently turning circle in my neighborhood because I felt I needed to leave the house. I don’t know what to say but I hear you and I’m sorry you’re feeling so down and disconnected. These events, however frequent or rare always remind me I have to walk on eggshell and it’s so damn tiresome.>>> on Forum topic - Anger outburst
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