6 Staycation Tips for ADHD Couples

A recent article in the New York Times about how to make the most out of a staycation reminded me that taking a quick break from the everyday routine can remind couples why they fell in love in the first place.  You get out from under your 'to do' list; you aren't around the normal distractions; and you can explore or schedule things that you specifically find fun.

The Times article has some great tips.  Here are more - specifically for couples impacted by ADHD:

Get the outline in place (dates, time, location with reservations if needed) but don't over schedule the actual event.  Spontaneity often leads to less stress when someone with ADHD is involved.

Don't set unintentional traps for the ADHD partner.  As an example, don't say to an ADHD partner "I would love to go on a staycation in New York if you manage to plan it" and then disappear from the planning process, waiting to see if this time around the ADHD partner will show how much he cares by managing to find a hotel, set the date, etc. when that has not been a strong point in the past.  The idea of the staycation is to LOWER stress, not raise it.

Make sure you're on the same page before you go.  One couple I work with uses overnight get aways at a local hotel to spend 5 hours talking about deep emotional issues, then breaks the somber mood by going to a celebratory dinner and spending the night away from teh kids.  This is a very different staycation than wanting to sit by the pool and flirt at the pool bar.

Be intentionally open to having fun.  Having fun doesn't mean everything is 'fixed.'  So go ahead, allow yourself to enjoy yourself...find some of those lost connections if you can.  The chores will still be waiting for you when you get back.

Try something new and challenging.  One of the fastest ways to connect is with something that you haven't done together before.  Go ahead - try rollerblading or snorkeling or that salsa class and see what happens.

Your staycation may well need to be active.  Particularly if you are a partner with the "H" part of ADHD, it's probably a good idea not to plan a day sitting by the pool.  And even if hyperactivity isn't an issue, physical activity calms and focuses the ADHD mind, so can make your staycation more fun.