Not long ago, ADDitude Magazine approached me to write an article about the specific issues that men with ADHD face in their relationships. I'll admit I had to think a bit about this request, as I think much of the research and conversation about ADHD is biased to be thinking about men, rather than women. But the more I considered the idea, the more I realized that there are issues that men face that will resonate both with the men who have them and with their female (or male) partners.
So I did write that article, isolating these factors:
- Shame over job related issues and job searches
- Emotional regulation issues, particularly as relates to anger and how men express (and embrace) anger
- Conflict avoidance issues (it's physiologically difficult for men to self-soothe) and using retreat as a common coping strategy
- Difficulty expressing emotions (including not being taught this skill)
- For some, resistance to accepting (or even seeking) an ADHD diagnosis
For Men with ADHD - and Those Who Love Them lays out these issues in more depth and provides specific next steps for both ADHD and the non-ADHD partners who love them to help deal with them. I hope you'll read it.