Recent forum posts (all topics)

My ADHD fiance was fired from a good job shortly after we started dating.  I didn't expect it to be long before he had another, but he refuses to apply for positions, even when I find them for him.  He says he cannot cope with jobs that provide no meaning for him.  I get that.  I really do.  I used to work for myself doing something I loved and I had to quit and get an office job because I needed more money coming in.  I like the folks I work with, but the job has nothing fulfilling about it other than a decent company with decent people and a paycheck.

The biggest "takeaway" I have gleaned from this site is that you can't change someone else.  You can only change yourself.  By myself, I have learned to not be so emotional...and that love is not the emotion (which, for me was probably more about need and insecurity and culture) but it is about being cared for and caring.  I cried a lot in my early marriage years making myself a victim rather than the person of strength I could have been.  I don't know how to fight....didn't want to fight.  But I realize now that I am in charge of my self.

My wife has ADD AND depression and has had for several years now. She had been successful keeping it under control and seeing a counselor but has not been back to counseling for about 2 years. As we age (she’s 66) her depression has gotten much worse. For the past 2 weeks all she has done is lay round the house not feeling like doing anything. She refuses to go back to her doctor or to councellling and I don’t know what to do. She absolutely will not talk to me about getting help. I love everything her and took a vow to stand by her and that’s what I am and will do.

I'm newly diagnosed as an adult with ADHD. Seven years ago I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (what was called Major Depressive Disorder). The symptoms for these 2 conditions are very similar and overlap. Since having been diagnosed, I have started to wonder if I was MISdiagnosed . My husband also thinks I may have been misdiagnosed because the more I tell him about ADHD symptoms the more everything makes sense! His symptoms are different than mine. He's more neurotypical. 

Hi everyone!

I was diagnosed with ADHD about 6 months ago. I’m in my late 20’s with 2 kids and a fiancé G. Pre diagnosis was rough on all of us as the drs could say was it was just depression. But after 2 attempts of suicide a mental health worker suggested getting checked out.

My wife took our daughter to a play last night, so I met with the parenting coach by myself.  The parenting coach brought up the issue of whether my wife has ADHD and listened to my concerns.  I explained how the "Adult ADHD Special" I persuaded my wife to see has used a checklist meant for kids, not adults.  I also explained how our couples therapist--who was also supposed to specialize in ADHD--doesn't "believe in diagnoses."

Hey all,

We got married less than a year and we have a baby boy, 2 months old now. And we are under divorce process for all the problems and challenges that are described in ADHD marriages. I already knew that he was suffering from hyperactivity when he was young and few days ago, i came into an article about ADHD and was illuminated because it was describing exactly it all. But he refuse to accept or listen...how can i convince him just to be opened to this idea and not look as "nagging" plz.

We’ve been together for over 20 years and it’s never been quite right. I should have known something was up when she was an hour late for our first date. She’s rarely been on time since. Her father should have been a clue - he lives alone surrounded by boxes of junk that he can’t part with, so I am told because no one except his ex-wife is allowed to enter his home. His ex-wife is an enabler of the first order ... and perhaps so am I. 

Hi lovely people,

i have got the courage to finally typ down how  and  where I’m at at the moment. 

It all started 8 years ago. I met this fun guy through a mutual friend after a while we started dating. I got out a relationship and was 30 and  a single mom of 2 at that time. He was 28. Now I’m 39 and I can not find that little piece of me of how I was before. 

He mentioned that he was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 6 but that it isn’t so bad as he thinks it is. He doesn’t want to take meds because that makes him not who he is. 

This has may have been discussed before but I am wondering how far the non ADD spouse should go in helping with the fallout of the their spouse losing things. My DH lost his wallet. He has searched high and low without my help. He is now demanding that I call the credit card companies for him to report the lost cards. I am fatigued not only by this but by the daily dramas . I told him I am not making those calls for him. Am I being unreasonable? If I lost my credit cards I wouldn't expect anyone else to deal with it....