Recent forum posts (all topics)

I’ve been debating for days whether to write or not. I've been off social media for a while and I really don't have friends. I don't know how to do this; I guess I'll just write. I've been with my husband (partner not married but engaged-super long engagement) for 9 years. He was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I feel the news destroyed my world. A lot of things clicked in my head as soon as I started to do research on it. For the first time I stopped blaming myself for everything, from being somewhat not social too demanding to spend more time together without other people.

Both of our kids were really,really pressing to get guinea pigs.  I kept saying no because they have not been responsible and we (I) would end up taking care of them.  My wife kept saying that our 16 year old son was getting better and we should let him try.

I believe that it is very important to review why we love our partners, and to be truly honest with it. Consider the two statements below:

1. I love my partner.

2. My partner loves me.

I think we maybe are discussing the wrong spouse on this web site, way to often...What happen's to the mind and emotions of a person who is subjected to denial (behavior blindness) and indifference from their spouse over an extended period of time (years for most of us)??....I know I am damaged to some degree...Even if it's just thinking about it an unhealthy amount...(thought dominating)...

I tried to communicate some things.  Some very important things. Some very fundamental things.  

I cannot be heard. I don’t know where adhd symptoms begin/end and the other stuff like personality, denial, dysfunctional views of relationships, selfishness, simple misunderstanding, communication style, etc, also begin/end.  

It is coming. Soon. It is no respecter of persons. I  believe on one level that I will live forever in paradise.

Looking for advice on how to stop an adhd husband from lying to cover up things he is ashamed of.  I just got back from a vacation without my husband and saw a couple of new scratches on his brand new truck.  I didn’t say anything about that for a couple days and then asked him what happened.  He said those scratches were there since the winter and that I just never saw them.  I park by his truck everyday.  I know he is lying. He does this occasionally and then tells me I’m a terrible wife for not believing him.  I feel like he is playing mind games woth me.

After years (11 now) of trying to come to peace with what is possible in my marriage relationship...I have gotten there....I guess the reason it took so long, was because, I knew deep down I wouldn't like it....And I don't..LOL.....Shortly before I found this web site (6 years ago) I had some break through's, when it comes to the working of an add mind, and most importantly denial by the adder....I've read and written many posts since that time......I was just looking at one of Melissa's comments about denial...."It's denial that causes divorce she says"...And I understand that completely..

So, right now we have a number of projects H started 1, 2, or 3 years ago.  Like for instance, he tore up a small ceiling area because there were drips coming from upstairs.  The ceiling has been unfinished and sits unattended for 4 months.  There is a shed that has a hanging off door and I have been asking that we decide and work together to fix the door or remove the shed.  It has been an eyesore and a vermin magnet for over a year.  Many more projects that need to be done around our house.

Hello. I am a non adhd spouse of an untreated man- we have been married for 22 long years. I just got yelled at because he forgot I had bought tickets to a concert at a local art gallery tonight- and besides that- I scheduled a birthday dinner for he and my son- and the next day- we are hosting the youth group at our house! How could I be so self centered to do all that? Literally all he has to do is show up these events but it’s apparently very problematic. Just one example of the millions of times I have been yelled at over the years. Not just yelled at but attacked personally.