Recent forum posts (all topics)

A couple weeks ago, our couples therapist asked what would make me feel more loved.  I said consideration, with the example that I should not have had to do all of the leaf raking with my bad shoulders.  My wife responded that she would but I needed to remind her. I pointed out that she had offered to help, then said she would help after the she did something in the kitchen, then said that she thought (finally) taking down the Halloween decorations was all the help I needed, and did not rake any leaves.  I reminded her several times.

My ADHD husband and I have begun to see therapist who specializes in ADHD adults.  Prior to our first session, she had us each fill out one of the evaluation forms/tools that "test" for ADHD, my husbanding answering for himself and I answering from the perspective of a spouse.  My answers indicated my husband has ADHD; my husband's answers revealed no definite sign of ADHD.  The therapist told us during our first session that she could not make a definite diagnosis because the results did not jive.  She suggested that if we wanted to work on our relationship, she would be happy to do so wit

Buy (easy) and set up (very hard!) the Christmas tree.  How about you?

Did you have emotional resolution or closure before you divorced or after?  Did you only grieve for the relationship and the loss of hope?  Or did you grieve the loss who the specific person you lost?  What else were your losses?

We are not divorcing in the foreseeable future but the topic has come up over the course of our marriage, and it has been more seriously considered at various times. 

So it's been a LOT of togetherness the past few weeks and I am about at the end of my tether.  DHs 50th birthday was November 17th and all four of us went downtown (Chicago) overnight-we had a super fancy dinner out then stayed at a fancy hotel overnight then had brunch the next morning and came home.  It was fine but taxing.  It made me sad that we have no couple friends that I would even have invited to join us and that DH has no friends period that would have made for a party or something.  He has two ways of being-sarcastic or sullen.  That's pretty much it.

My ADHD husband and I have been in counseling together for several months now, and are working to get our marriage into a better place. We have already seen real progress, though we do have a long way to go. (At what point does it start to get easier.. six months? a year?)

We are both dealing with a lot of hurt and anger, and I am trying to take responsibility for my part in our issues, but I am starting to feel like I'm being unfairly villainized in his memory of our life together all these years.

My wife and I went through 8.5 months of marriage counseling 5 years ago...With a very good counselor....I was an angry man, hurt and bitter then...On more than one occasion, I would get up to angrily walk out, but, never did...My W would never own her behavior, and always blamed, denied, or justified it....She just wanted a referee, not help....

The leaves had really piled up by last weekend.  Our son had done a poor job of raking them earlier in the fall and now said he refused to do yardwork because I always tell him it is not good enough.  You know, I am picky about things like raking the leaves that are against the fence,bagging the leaves once you rake them into piles, and not raking them into the bushes in the hopes that no  one will notice.  On Saturday morning we went to a movie.  On the way, my wife offered to help me rake.  After the movie, she said our son should help me rake.  I reminded her that she offered to rake.  S

Hi all,

I'm really hoping someone might be able to offer me some words of wisdom. 

How many of us Nons have been told that we always have to have our way with things?

*raises hand*

I know another couple personally whose adhd spouse said that to the nonadhd spouse. So that makes two of us.