Recent forum posts (all topics)

Okay, I may come across as the most petty person on the planet and if so, feel free to call me out on this but it has bothered me for a long long time.  If you have read any of my posts here you know I have been married for 23 years to an unmedicated ADHD man and we have a 19 year old son and a 17 year old son.  DH has been unemployed many times, in fact his last three jobs only lasted three years each.  He has a high school diploma only and went into the Air Force where he only made it to Staff Sergeant.

So this just happened first thing in the morning.  I am 2 rooms away and I hear H say angrily, disgustedly, "My God."  I walked in the kitchen and asked what was the "My God" about?  He said, disgustedly, "WE HAVE 2 BREADS."  I had bought a loaf of bread and he had bought a loaf of bread.  Then he took the empty egg carton he had in his hand and threw it on the floor and angrily stomped on it to flatten it loudly and pointedly.

My husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. We have been married for 21 years and have a 17 yr old and a 5 yr old.  We have been in couples therapy for 3 years going in circles until finally figuring out he has ADHD. I think my therapist new all along but knew that if my husband didn’t come up with it on his own he would never have believed her and wud have ended our couples therapy immediately.  Only because all these years of struggle have been due to the fact that I am crazy, emotional, depressed, and unable to handle life.

hi ... I have a situation a home right now that I have no idea if it is ADHD or just some paranoid situation ...

My partner was not diagnosed as a child and by the age of 18 he was diagnosed as schizophrenic ... now it is a mix of schizophrenia with ADHD ... since I am here I notice that sometimes he gets super stress if he misplace some items like his mobile or his wallet ... I try to keep an eye on where he left his stuff and when comes and ask where they are, I let him know .. of course it works when I see it ... but not when I don't see where he place them. 

Oh good lord the pouting.  I feel like I am trapped in a really bad remake of Groundhog Day.  We just go over the same stuff over and over and over and DH wonders why I am counting the days until we can end this pathetic excuse for a marriage.  DH is overweight but has junk food, pop and candy hidden in his dresser drawers.  He gets headaches from an outdated glasses prescription and won't make an appointment to get new ones OR let me make it despite there being an eye place that takes our insurance, is open on Saturdays AND is blocks from our house.

I’m not angry or mad, just confused and very sad. My partner and I are approaching our year anniversary and I can’t stop feeling like it is all going to end. I watched my previous marriage disintegrate over a 5 year period and I know this relationship is heading the same way if I can’t pull it together.

I believe that in some cases, it's not that the person with ADHD is incapable of changing. I believe they don't change because things work better for them the way they are. They are simply unwilling to change. Why would they want to change when they get their way most of the time and they have someone who is willing to do all the little things in a marriage / relationship that they themselves don't want to do?

Like many in this forum, I feel lonely and isolated much of the time due to my husband’s self-centeredness and unreliability.  He has indicated that he’s willing to work on his behaviors, but I know it will be a lifelong struggle for both of us (assuming we make it that long).  I am close with my family, but they live in another state.  I’m starting to think that the only way I’m going to make it in this marriage is to move close to my family.

hello !

In my other post I wrote about how I moved from Mexico to the Netherlands to be with my partner ... and how in this 9 months of been here have been a nightmare. 

I sometimes wonder how I got into this situation with H.  How did I eventually let my guard down so much that I daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, decadely permit myself to be regretful and confused?  

I am deconstructing our conversations to find clues and here is one. This just happened:

Me: With a positive tone, "I like to stand on this rug"...(it is nubbly textured on stocking feet).

H:  With an argumentative tone, "You can't stand on that rug.  It isn't your rug."