Recent forum posts (all topics)

Do any of you other non-ADHD spouses have tips for feeling cherished/appreciated/loved by your spouse? 

I'm just here to vent; I know people on this forum understand the challenges of living with (or no longer living with) a person with ADHD, and I appreciate that very much.

HI there, I have been following this post for quite a long time to understand and support what I see and think my wife struggle with ADD is.

I've worked very hard over the last 5 years to try and understand what is going on in my wife's mind, how to deal with it, and way's to stop the conflict between us....I did most everything wrong the first 5 years of our marriage...I was lost, offended, and had no clue about this dead end, and hopeless mindset...(denial)...Fast forward to the last 5 years, and the place we've come today, is light years better than those early years.....Why?....Has she changed?

A couple of months ago, I gave my wife a list of possible psychiatrists who have experience with adult ADHD.  She "left a couple of messages" for one of them, but did not follow up--too busy!

Earlier this week, I went on psychology today.  I reached out to woman she tried to contact and heard back shortly.  Unfortunately, she is not taking new patients.

Hi everyone! I’m new to this forum and looking for advice. Is there such a thing as relationship counselling with an adult ADHD expert? I’ve been looking for ages and either the websites are out of date or there are huge long lists of therapists that seem to focus on general couples stuff and in our case that has been tried numerous times and failed. We need couples counselling from someone that appreciates / understands some of the ADHD symptoms, impacts and strategies for addressing them. We’re in south London UK.  Thanks if you can steer me in the right direction x

If I say thank you, he says nothing. “Thank you for bringing the vacuum upstairs.”  Silence. “Thank you for how hard you work to provide for us.”  Silence. 

If we are on the phone, he just barely manages to mumble a goodbye. Each and every time. If I didn’t know what the word was supposed to sound like, I wouldn’t recognize it as a goodbye.

There is some grief in your life when you accept the reality that something has died or that something was not what you thought is was or could be. Today I am just feeling that grief that I cannot change the things I cannot change. So I guess I must do the lonely work of changing what I can.  But today is just a rest and accept and grieve day. 

I've been my own worst enemy over the years, when conflict arises...In the name of seeking peace and resolution, I find my self taking a lot of abuse, because I feel as a husband I should be the aggressor in the restoration process...And that's fine and good at times (where we both took up the sword)...But it's wrong when I had no part in (took no part) her own internal anger, failed manipulation attempts, or when she disrespects boundaries and attempts to justifies it, with blame and silence.... 

Our about-to-turn-16 son has decided he wants to be emancipated.  He has started looking at apartments and is convinced that he can earn enough money to support himself (including rent) while working part time and going to school.  He even told me he thought he could make $50,000 a year.  Oh, and the insurance won't be an issue--he doesn't plan to get sick.  (Never mind the cost of his current ADHD and anxiety medication!)