Recent forum posts (all topics)

ADHD partner going in deep moods with me most weekends

I am seriously considering how to cope, how to be stronger, but angry that his moodiness most weekends, lately, because I am not listening, because he wants to talk about something with a lot of detail in it and wants me to get it properly and this is usually when we are out and about, the supermarket car park as we are walking towards the shop doors, or when my dog was being extremely restless in a pub, going near the fire, walking off, or about to jump up on the pub's sofa, I get accused of not wanting to listen to him.  This also is a cheek because he doesn't actively listen to me or ask

emotional availability and unavailability

I'm thinking about this topic today more than usual because this would have been my 33rd wedding anniversary, if the marriage had not ended (by divorce, two years ago).  My ex has, it seemed, always showed more interest in communicating and sharing with and supporting women who aren't me.  You don't know me and you don't know him, so you can't tell me why this is, but I'm wondering what others whose spouses or partners have ADHD have experienced in this realm.  I don't necessarily think this is an ADHD thing.  My ex has lots of other issues that could explain this, including (maybe) that he

Why should I be uncomfortable?

Recently, our teenage son said he knew my wife hid his portable game system in her locked drawer and he could not get to it.  Last night, she opened the drawer (she says it was locked) and found it missing.  This is the same drawer where she keeps sex toys.  We have file cabinets with locks in our bedroom precisely because both our son and our daughter routinely go into our room without permission and look through our dressers and under the bed.  I keep medications in the locked drawer next to my side of the bed.

Raising children with ADD spouse

This is my first time posting, but I have been visiting this site for about a year.  My husband stopped taking his ADD medicine several months ago.  He also has sleep apnea and won't use his equipment at night.  According to him, both these things are my fault.  He also tells me I'm the reason he lies.  Things have been horrible lately, especially when it comes to our kids.  They don't see his constant lies and I'm the "mean and bad" parent because I ask them to do chores.  In front of me, he tells both kids (11 and 14) that they don't need to do what I ask and that I should do it myself. 

He lost his job - again

Same issues as usual were raised, things that I have been telling him have been getting worse: forgetting things, time management, organization and communication. Our marriage has been horrible, I am miserable. These things plus his negative attitude have taken a major toll but he had told me that - despite my concerns that it would affect his work as well - things were find at work and his job was safe. It wasn’t. He knew for a while and he lied. 

I am tired. Exhausted. 

End of the Road???

This is my first time posting here though I have been reading every word for the last several weeks since finding this site. I am an American who has been living and working in England for 10+ years. I have been married for 17 years with a woman who had undiagnosed ADD (until diagnosed 2+ yrs. ago) and we have a 15 yo daughter....... Just turned 60 this last weekend and sadly, did not feel like celebrating the milestone at all.

You guys are totally right

I've read the books, H has read the books, nothing is happening, I'm not being listened to at all.  You all are right, this relationship is stupid and I'm stupid for continuing in it and I'm stupid for thinking that reading books about it will help anything.  I'm leaving my husband and I'm not reading anything else about ADHD and I don't care.  Thanks for your support, I'm not coming back here because I literally don't want to deal with anything to do with ADHD again and I hope I never meet anyone else with it.  

Feeling Sad and Alone

After it's all said and done, I feel so sad and alone.

It feels like the only way I can get some emotional needs met is if I "give in" and accept that my husband is a slave laborer, and messy and we will never get out of this house because he won't get rid of his crap nor will he take care of his bills.  He will never plan anything.... well you all know the drill.

In other words to get some companionship, I need to accept all these irritating bits.

H ignores me for days

Welp.  H and I read through the communication section of the book together.  However, nothing has changed.  Asked him to exercise the dog this weekend while I was away (I normally do it exclusively).  Came home Sunday and he had not exercised the dog that day, only Saturday.  H says he thought "this weekend" meant one day of the weekend, since I don't take the dog to exercise every day of the weekend all the time.  Okay, YES, I do take him to exercise every day of the weekend that it is possible.  Some days, particularly in the winter, the weather is a problem.  However, we don't have a fen

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