Recent forum posts (all topics)

My SO of 18 years has just been diagnosed as ADHD. He was diagnosed because I asked for a divorce after many years of thinking about it after having discovered his online porn addiction. He says he wants to fix us but I think I'm too far gone. I'm reading the adhd effect in marriage and almost all of it is familiar but I just don't care. I would like to be supportive while he repairs his relationships with the kids but I really don't feel like there is an us to fix. 

I posted a thread on this forum a couple of weeks ago: The longest breakup...ever.

Hi Friends,

It's been a while since my last post. I have been around, but had no opportunity to post due to lots of things that have been going on recently in my life. First of all, I want to thank, again, all of you who have read and responded, you've been a great support and please know you've helped me through a very difficult period in my life. Which, unfortunately, is still going on. (would put a smiley face here, but I'm not really sure it's appropriate, and yet somehow the sad face seems inadequate too)

My husband who has ADD, and I were speaking this last weekend and I felt like we peeled a layer back worth sharing.  I was telling him that the only way I have found not to have an argument with him is when: 1) I don't speak or 2) when I don't ask him or REMIND him (because he already agreed to do it) to do anything.  Here is what he said, please note I SO VERY MUCH appreciate the honesty from him (because it is rare):

Responsibility makes me feel like you are "Putting Something On Me" and that makes me feel "Attacked".

My partner (ADD) and I (not ADD) are currently working our way through the couple's seminar.  We actually did it live, but life got in the way about week 3 and we weren't able to keep up - so now 6 months later, we are trying it again on our own.  We're getting pretty close to doing the Chore Score section, but I am really struggling with what to include here. My partner works full time - often until 8 or 9pm a night.

have come to my wits end with my passive husband. I have been catering to his need to feel loved and understood so much that I feel like I am the man/leader in this marriage. Am I stuck? Why should I reach out and take the lead again but this time in trying to fix this marriage. I would like to separate just so that I can have some peace and sanity.

Hello! I'm new to this site and was wondering if I could get some help with a really irritating part of our relationship.

Hello all, long time lurker here but first time poster. Up until a few weeks ago I was in a relationship for 5 years. The individual had been diagnosed with ADHD since they were a child. They were on meds but about a few months ago the medication stopped being as effective. Our 5 years together were great (not the first 2 years but the rest was). Or so I thought. Lately we had been going back and forth about progress in our relationship. After 5 years I was looking to get engaged and move in together.

While I've taken time to be away from this forum, I graduated from college.  I started classes in January 2012 on the business track, then shifted to follow my passion - children.  This May, I graduated and took that stroll down the aisle to receive my diploma. . . . . . . exactly 40 years after I took the stroll down the aisle to receive my high school diploma. Cool.

My spouse acknowledges his ADHD (just diagnosed in May). He has tremendous insight into his problem with anger management.  He absolutely gets the impact of that on me and the kids.  But, it happens so fast.  That hair trigger temper.  It's SO fast, I can't see it coming.  Then his words are out.  They are loud and sometimes mean.  They are VERY sarcastic.  And then, for him, it's over.  He feels bad.  And I just fester like a pot of boiling water.  This pattern has gone on for years and I feel broken.  What if he can't fix this?  He wants to.  But it keeps happening.