Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am a non ADHD spouse. My husband says he has probably had ADHD since childhood, but has never been diagnosed. He is trying to self-manage any less than desirable traits that he is aware of. Brief background – he was married, divorced, remarried then widowed. I was widowed. We met and married in our mid 50’s. During courtship he was so very fun and treated me like a queen! After about a year he started losing the ability to filter some unnecessary hurtful commentary and there were some angry outbursts.

I don't know if I can do this anymore. There, I said it. How nice it is to be able to say it to people who not only understand my life but are living it too, where you wake up one morning to see boxes that haven't been unpacked from when you moved... 5 years ago. See empty toilet rolls on the floor when the bin is a meter away. See overflowing rubbish, and recycling, stacks of computers and monitors in the hallway, see a new box of 100 assorted and tangled wires appear in the man room (that tip is not an office anymore).

I really had a bad moment  just a bit ago.  A blender that my late husband bought me is giving me trouble.  I have been trying to really clean it and I cant seem to get it clean.  I think maybe its just so old its falling apart.  Thing is - I use the thing religiously and am very attached to it (I know I should not be - its just a small kitchen appliance...

H has evolved into being a constant whiner.  It started a few years ago and has become worse.  In fact, he's lost his golf partner because of the whining.

 

My husband spends all his time launching financially unviable projects with big ideas. He doesn't earn any income and I can't afford to pay for his unreasonable behaviour anymore. I can't stand that he won't listen to me and stop launching over and over again the same project which is always doomed to failure because he doesn't have adequate investment and is too disorganised to manage anything. He just won't listen and I can't bear the thought of taking money away from my son's university fund so that he can run again with another crazy project. Help!

Non adhd wife. Hey so my q is when it it just "lovable hunkey dorey Adhd" that I should coddle,  vs when is it just outright abuse I'm taking/not living my life so that I can make sure he doesn't get mad?

I guess I'm asking what is the official line? When has it been crossed?

Does the line exist in each of us non-Adhd? And once we've had enough, that's it? Or we go through years/ decades happily and then suddenly the last straw breaks our back? And we can't even look at our partner with love anymore. 

My new boyfriend acts unusual sexually, wants me to tell him what to do because I said I didn't like what he was saying (inappropriate and disrespectful things) during lovemaking.  He seems to switch from being tender and loving to sort of aggressive and forceful. Anyone experience similar behaviour with your ADHD partners?

This is more of a curiosity, but as I have dug deeper into what is ADHD and what is not ADHD.....I realized something about my family growing up that I always noticed as different with some of our members in the family and not others. My original thought was about food and personal preferences....but this extends to other things as well such as...restaurants, entertainment, and favorite spots to go visit and revisit again....and again....and again.....and again????

C brought up Alexithymia in another post, and holy smokes... it sure seems to be another layer in this insane onion I have been peeling for 7 years.  Here is an article about it:

 

Summary
Alexithymia is a trait that makes it hard to find words for thoughts and feelings. It is experienced by both children and adults and can come in mild, moderate and severe forms. When identified, alexithymia can be treated – with the goal of making feelings and their textures easier to navigate.