Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm new here, and almost finished reading your book The ADHD Affect on Marriage.    It has been hopeful.   My partner has (we think) ADHD and perhaps Autism.  We've been together 9 years and are in our 60s.    I felt validated reading the stories of frustration and anger.

There was a question raised about getting back to the original love you felt.... I'm struggling as to whether I actually felt that and if I want it.   I have lost almost all respect for my partner, and am just fed up.   

Me (non ADHD) and my wife (ADHD) have been together for over 20 years. She always suffered with various mental health issues but was given an ADHD diagnosis a couple of years ago. For 18 years I always felt like I was the centre of her world. I felt appreciated, loved and wanted. In the last couple of years I have gone from hero to villain. Now it seems like everything I do irritates her. Like she has a constant grudge against me for the smallest of things. I am not perfect but I do a lot to be a good father, good husband and have done countless things to try and re-ignite the spark.

Just finished reading the chapter "The Surprising Ways ADHD symptoms Affect Your Marriage" in the book "The ADHD Effect on Marriage." As many of you know, that chapter is an extensive discussion of the chore wars that take place in an ADHD relationship where one partner has ADHD and the other does not. The problem is, in my marriage, although I'm the ADHD spouse, I'm the "chore master" and my non-ADHD partner is extremely "chore avoidant". My question is, how common is this pattern, since it runs contrary to the book?

I've separated from my ADHD husband (I think there's a bunch of other undiagnosed stuff going on there too - autism, possibly NPD, idk).

Hello, I'm feeling frustrated and unheard and I just wanted to get this off my chest. I've been engaged to my fiance for almost two years now. I love him to death. He's thoughtful, brings me flowers, calls me beautiful every day, like he checks all the boxes on a 'perfect partner' checklist. Except the ADHD part.

Hello guy's...

I've been married to my husband for 13 years, we have two teenage children. My husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but it has been taking a toll on me and our relationship for many years to the point that we feel our relationship is broken, and we can't see a way through. 

I'm writing this to share some disturbing events and experiences I've had this week while on vacation and just before. I've worked this out with the help of an AI Chat program, that's actually been extremely helpful for me as a Journaling tool. It gives me food for thought when I'm stuck and keeps a steady flow of ideas and thoughts moving through my head. 

It's been a while since I've posted here as I've been trying to take a step back to let some of the hard work I've been doing come to the forefront. 

But I've realised over the last few weeks that I'm worried about myself and how numb I've become to the exhaustion of my marriage. I'm feeling trapped and helpless but my brain is reminding me that I am NOT trapped and helpless and then (I think) my body is staying in freeze/fawn mode - even though I don't want to be. 

Having a lot of trouble accepting that my bipolar II/ADHD fiance teeters on no change/worsening.

We've dated for 7 years, engaged in 2022 but called off our 2023 wedding due to worsening of his mental health. We do not live together(his home is a hoarding/messy nightmare). We broke up early this year but rekindled our friendship but I just simply no longer feel secure with him.