Recent forum posts (all topics)

I know I am asking alot of questions, I guess doing a post mortem on my own life and relationship has led me to wonder what others have gone through, and how they managed and dealt with things. 

 

I found this quite by accident and think it is rather interesting. I am sure there will be plenty of agreement /disagreement but that is what dialogue includes.......and I am putting this out there with this thought......marriage is a learning experience like alot of things are. Pre-concieved ideas come from society, family and personally....for whatever reason. In the most intimate of relationships...marriage.....is it any wonder how the challenges of ADHD cause so much havoc for both parties?

*EDIT*// - I want to start off here and state that I KNOW that there are successful marriages with ADHD partners, I know that they are happy and fullfilled because they have done the work, and DO the work.  We just dont see them there, so I wanted to make it clear that I DO - I absolutely DO believe that it is possible.  But only if both partners do the work (you know, like "normal" people have to do anyway!) //*Edit*

 

Let me just say I am a small petty person.  I know this.  Twenty one years of marriage to an ADHD DH really does a number on your sanity, as so many of us know.  So these are the things on my mind that make me want to blow a gasket.  First--on July 4, our 17 YO son traded his late shift lifeguarding at the beach for an earlier shift so he could hang out with us and his girlfriend for the fireworks--totally fine.  But...he offered to pay whoever took his shift $60 extra since it was a holiday (that's more than the shift itself pays, but what do I know...).

I'm desperate to change the communication style of my marriage before it all falls apart. Whoever can read and respond, I'd really appreciate it. I'm the ADHD partner in an 8-year marriage. I have my own things to work on and fix, lots of them. But I worry that none of this will involve participation from my wife, given how little she seems to want to control, discuss, or be asked about her feelings and actions. The message is just: "you make it better right now or it's over."

Greetings all; I have lurked on this forum for quite a while reading other members posts/responses and infomation. What speared me into making an account and posting was just another run of the mill 'common' issue most everyone here faces. I come home from work and find the door to the house open and all the trash piled up next to the door (but ripped open and thrown all over the house because of the dog) because she did not remember to take it out, yet had to step over it to leave I guess...

So - one of the things I am seeing is those with ADHD/ADD do tend to live in the moment, hard core in the present - never mind future or past, just right here right now. I do think this can be a great thing, its good for getting past hardship, moving past an argument, a great coping mechanism in a lot of ways. But where the problem comes in, is that not only (in *my* experience) does that ADHD person live in the present, they live in their "feelings" that are "right now" as well. This is a VERY dangerous thing to do, and its very destabilizing of any relationship you can ever build.

I know that the very brave adhd folks who come to the anger forum sometimes get exposed to the raw side of our nonadhd pain.  You are brave for doing that, but it shows hope that there are some of you who take the time to actually care.  To those of you who work on your adhd related issues... THANKYOU from the bottom of my heart.  It's a long road but you have guts and honesty to do it. Your spouses are very fortunate indeed.

 

Me and my boyfriend have been together for four years. This has been extremely difficult time for numerous reasons. I have been in therapy for all these years and my boyfriend has been quite supportive. He has also pointed me to some of my issues which I need to solve. At some point I am however feeling that he has taken the liberty of just pointing out whatever is wrong with me and suggest that I change my behavior. Because of his ADHD he has a lot of micromanaging habits which get challenged when living together with someone.

Hello. Please bear with me, as I'm afraid this will turn into a pretty long post. I just feel like I need some advice and feedback on a few things.

 

I'm a 22-year old female with Aspergers syndrome who's engaged to a 21-year old guy with an Aspergers/ADHD combination. We've been in a relationship for almost four years and engaged for almost two years, and we are soon planning on moving in together in the near future.

But some things are really bothering me and making me question how the future will be, and I almost feel like I want to quit at times.