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This will be really detailed story, but I think all of it is relevant.

I need help, cause I've never been so confused about a guy and what to do... :( 

We've read a lot of posts from women who are upset at their ADHD partners because they won't be medicated or take their meds regularly.

In the past few months, I've had my eyes opened.  For years, H has been difficult.  For years, I never understood his resistance to taking meds correctly or regularly or getting the "right" meds.  Some were supposed to be taken every morning, but he'd resist, and then take too many later once he was too upset to sleep that night (after raging all evening).  

 

I've never in my life experienced what is happening to me now. I am disorganized, easily distracted, incredibly overwhelmed and essentially unmotivated. I've been in a relationship with a man with ADD and depression for a little over 7 years. It took 6 years to get him on medication and therapy, which seems to be more the norm than the exception. The anger, dear god, his anger.

I've read a lot on this forum over the past few years about Co-dependence. It brought me to the reality a good while back that I have the disease. (if alcohol addiction can be a disease, why can't co-dependents?) I give credit to many of the posters on this forum for helping me to move past the (denial, mental block, ignorance, self-righteousness, fear) things in my little mind that has and does prohibit me from self-awareness and the ability to see and confront myself honestly.

A quick post and update on the progress of the other day when I finally broke through the ice with my wife.  As I predicted, she would default back some and this was a good call.

Before....I could say nothing but  "I don't know"...to stay in the middle.  But I don;t know doesn't get you very far if they need something from you...or you need something from them.  Since this is a dynamic condition between the two of us.  I found I had to change strategies to meet the change as it comes.

As I explained...I had some experience with psychedelic drugs in the past....but the experience I had when the window opened up was a completely different experience.  When I was in that weakened state of depression...where I was feeling like I didn't care anymore whether I lived or died....this does something to your emotional state.  When that happens....fear disappears.  If you think about it...fear is there for a reason....to indicate danger or something to avoid that might hurt you or so you won't die.  If you don't care whether you live or die....fear is not necessary anymore.  And fr

The French Kiss is a good movie to watch if you feel the one you love is not acting like he loves or appreciates you.  The Frenchman, Kevin Klien, tells Kate, Meg Ryan, how to WIN her fiance back.  His lessons make sense.  Don't beg, or try too hard, but keep a level head and find your happiness.  Find out what lights you up...don't sit pining for what brings you down.  

Preface:  I'm up all night again, and I can't sleep.  I've been doing a lot of connecting up lately and part of it....I need to get down before I lose it.

So many stories of husbands with ADHD ... but could it just be character faults?

For anyone reading this....the term "Going through the wall" has a particular significance to me from my childhood. As a competitive swimmer beginning at the age of 6 and coming from a family dysfunction that completely undermined my ability to have any faith and belief in myself....and the fact I had un-diagnosed ADHD in those terms...created a situation where I was singled out in my family as the "one" who could not be trusted. I was the only one in my family, where all other family members (but particularly my parents) that had no faith and trust extended to.