Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm wondering if this is a reasonable boundary that I asked if my husband tonight?

I gave him a week to find some names of professionals who could help him with his ADHD, possible Aspergers, and his responsibility in those symptoms that affect our marriage. 

I have so intensely focused on it for such a great amount of time, that I have to say I am at a loss to understand.

I have realized over the past few months that this is so very, very complex.  I have some understanding.  I have some experience.  Raised up a son who gave me my first glimpse into ADHD.  Saw possibilities. Know it just 'is,' and there are ways to find joy.   

And it is way bigger than I am.  

It is not at all that my efforts have been in vain.  It is not that I am making a mess.  It is not that my spouse is making a mess.

I keep hearing about husbands just leaving their family or not caring when their wife and children leave. I don't want to make light of those heartbreaking situations, but I find myself wishing my husband would be that way, because it would make leaving easier for me. Has anyone dealt with their husband just being broken when you talk about separating? I feel like a monster. I keep second guessing myself and asking if it's really THAT bad. I think of his good qualities and how he really is a good person, buried underneath disorders he refuses to get diagnosed and treated.

My 61 year old fiancee shows all the characteristics of what I have read here. We have been together for 7 years and now I don't think I want this.

First off, things are going great for our little family right now. We are finally steering our ship in the right direction after years of living by the seat of our pants. There's still something there though. I am still having a hard time with my husband's ADHD. I'm angry a lot, and resentful. I feel like the one who has to manage our household. When is the dog due for shots? When does the car need to be serviced? Where does this thing go? Where did so and so put such and such. I am often frustrated and feel as if there is an imbalance of work.

I got pregnant in August and for five days I was excited. Then I started bleeding a little bit…every…single…day. I would call the doctor’s office who was so overly dismissive but also gave me a fairly routine response that if it becomes a lot, go to the ER, but otherwise, “some bleeding” can be normal and there’s nothing we can do about it if it isn’t so you have to wait it out. It made for an awful many weeks. My husband was all excited about the pregnancy and we had to tell his parents at 6 wees bc they came in town and I am not the type to get away with no drinking wine all weekend.

My boyfriend has been diagnosed with ADHD in the past, but never sought treatment. He has seen other therapists who have told him he is just depressed, so ADHD is not something we have discussed for awhile. He recently very suddenly ended our very happy, mostly healthy and stable 4 year relationship, claiming to need to take time to figure himself out. He has told me several times that he still loves me and always will love me from the bottom of his heart, and our relationship has meant everything to him. I suspect there could be a future between us, but I am afraid that he will never find the clarity he so desperately needs without seeking treatment for his ADHD. Looking for any advice you can give me, please.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD after I discovered him lying to me to my face and  I insisted he seek help.He went to therapists, psychiatrist , we went to couples therapy and I went to therapy as well.He got on medication and it worked beautifully for him. He divulged a habit of lying since childhood to compensate for learning issues and shame. He revealed he had been telling "little lies" about stupid stuff like coming home early to de-stress watch stupid tv. Off shopping saying he was working.

My spouse and I are in the midst of a divorce, and he is not communicating at all: not responding to any emails, voicemail messages, or U.S. mail. Lack of communication has always been an issue but now I think and feel that it's very possible he'll never speak to me again. I don't know if he has been communicating with our adult children, but I'm concerned that he might be shutting them out, too. I'm having a hard time coping with this. Any suggestions for adjusting to this situation?

Easter Sunday we will have 20 people here. We have a big house.  H's "areas" that I try to let him have to his content are "hoarding rooms" and are dirty including his office, his bathroom and his rec room.  (He also has the garage and sheds and rented storage buildings where he pays for his rusty dirty "valuables" to be stored until he can "sell" it all at a profit. When our extended family comes to visit I used to clean the entire house including organizing in piles and washing all his areas.