Recent forum posts (all topics)

He says he's blamed for *everything*

This is something I've heard over and over in our almost 8 years of marriage, how he says everything is ALWAYS his fault and he's ALWAYS getting blamed for things that aren't his fault. Now very clearly I have pointed out many times where he was the person responsible but he refuses to accept it. 

Do your ADHD'ers say this? He's like a massive martyr and doesn't see anyone else's suffering ever.

Realizing that we don't have a relationship at all

It has been so long, I forget what it feels like to have someone care about me. I have been married almost 8 years and have been thinking about how in those 8 years I think we have French kissed twice, how awful sex has been because he's incredibly awkward and critical, how I haven't wanted to even touch him in years because he does not shower or shave regularly (which I'm blamed for, of course). His fingernails are longer than mine. He is the laziest person I know, eats crap day in and out, makes a bunch of pasta for himself and doesn't want to share it with me or our child.

New to forum- just need to air it out

I am with my husband 8 years, married 2, and he "claims" to have adhd, but was never formally diagnosed...we already see a therapist, although most recently ive been asked not to bring certain things up so im not sure even what we are accomplishing...my husband has a hx of drug abuse and has been taking adderall for many many years...but not as prescribed... He'll fill his 30 day supply and it will be gone in 4 days...for a while i started taking his script and not allow him to fill it... But now he's of course manipulated me to feel like he's entitled to it...

Ready to leave... But when?

This is huge... After almost 6 years, 2 of marriage, I have finally decided in my heart that I need to leave. I'm leaning towards legal separation for now.. See if he changes MAYBE we will reconnect, but who knows. Anyways I am in a predicament. He knows I have wanted to leave for a while. But then I changed my mind and we went to counseling and I've stayed, now I have made my decision to be thoroughly done, though I won't be able to physically leave him until 6 months from now, until I finish my accounting degree..

I don't know what to do. Is it too late?

As the topic states, I'm at a loss as to what I can do to save my marriage. We have been together for five years, and I am the one with adhd. For a couple of years now, my wife has been very unhappy in our relationship. I admit my conduct during this period was not acceptable. I got fired from my job and just stayed home, not taking care of anything and not looking for a job. That's when the real trouble started. She now feels that she is like my mother and not my wife. She's tired of having to handle all the important aspects of our life, and she has been unbelievably stressed.

Validation feels so good...you mean it's not just me that sees this?

I have changed a lot since 2013. 2013 was my breaking point after being married since 1990 (I was 17)  to someone that clearly has lots of issues. One of the most powerful things I have read on this forum came from OverwhelmedWife on Tue, 06/23/2015:

He Gets Mad at ME For Not Doing "Simple" Things - WTF?!?!

Hi all,

I'm new here. Up late tonight very frustrated. Could really use some sympathy or insight as to how to cope...

Right now, I am dealing with a LOT of stress. It's so bad that I am witnessing physical effects happening as a result. DH is well aware of this. And I keep telling him about how overwhelmed I've been feeling, especially lately. And yet, he still insists on asking me to do all kinds of "simple" additional tasks throughout the day and then gets mad at me when I don't want to do them (or *gasp* I forget to do them). This REALLY infuriates me! 

New here: I am trying not to berate him

Okay, starting over. Changing my post. Husband has ADHD and mood disorder issues. I have a history of mood disorder issues but no symptoms for years beyond normal responses to my environment. My symptoms were the result of living in a difficult home environment and with time away from that and focusing on healthy living the symptoms have gone away, but my reactions to some things can still be difficult. 

We have been married less than three years.

I want to rely on him and I'm pissed that I can't.

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