I am a non-ADHD spouse married to an ADHD man, we have had our share of issues but I am wondering how I can better keep the peace. I am currently a graduate student & mother to 3 under 7yrs old. My husband feels no need to help lessen the load on me and it seems as if his interest is everything but our household.
"Most women subconsciously gravitate towards men who accord her the same level – or lack – of value and empathy our fathers did. So if your father neglected to let you know how special and valuable you are, you may attract similar relationships with men in your adult life, unaware that you deserve better." Psychologist Dr Linda Nielsen
I was moved to write this:
"The tears mean something", he said.
"Oh, they are nothing. I had a good childhood."
The key is Flow Charts. I had an epiphany last night. It came to me in the most convoluted way imaginable but only to say it came to me. It is my key to getting things done and I already know that it will work before I even try. I know this because of how I think, how I see things, how I process information, how I write and think and do everything that I do. It answers why I am so bad at one thing and turn around do the same but different thing as well and in some cases better than everyone else. It's how I got through school as well as I did. It's how I do art and sports as well as
My husband has been telling me over the last two years that there is something not quite right with me. why is it i tell him i hear what he is saying to me and that i am listening but nothing changes? my behavior and attitude stay the same and his frustration mounts. is it that i dont care? is it that i think i am always right and hes always wrong? is that i just dont care? why is it i clam up every time he brings up a difficult topic esp those which have me as the main topic. why is it that i say i will change and will do things differently, but i dont.
Hi. I am new in this page. And i am soooo glad that i saw this. Please guys help me. But please don't judge coz my story is really a bit weird. But your posts really help me alot. I just really wanna help this man who is very special to me.
I am mary, and i have a boyfriend who has ADHD. We are in a LONG distance relationship. I am 21 and he is 17. He admitted when we were still bestfriends that he has ADHD. He said he is hard on focusing. He had anger issues before which he said was now over. And i can see that.
How do non-ADHD spouses stay motivated to take care of themselves when the spouse doesn't notice or care either way?? Last June I started a BIG weight loss thing--I exercised and lost 20+ pounds and I looked great. Hubby liked it but also told me I looked fine before (that's nice actually, nothing I am mad about). Now things are a little rougher and I have put 5 pounds back on. Not the end of the world--this week was spring break and so I signed up for hot yoga (took five classes in 7 days) plus swam and walked a bunch. No pounds lost yet, but feeling better.
My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years, and right now are down to one car. (mine) I have to take him and pick him up from work until he can get a new car. We got home the other day and he asked me if he could drive the car next Wednesday and come home late because he apparently told a former advisee/student of his that has apparently never had been out for drinks before and told her that when she graduated that he would buy her her first drink.
Ok... so does anyone else have this issue. My husband is obsessed with XBOX/ Facebook and his phone. I work 45-50 hours a week at a very stressful work environment and he barley pulls in part time hours at his job working a couple days each week during the winter. During his high season where he works 6 days out of the 7 during the summer, i make sure that he does not have to do a thing at home because i acknowledge that his job is hard work and that he may be tired.
So, I thought I would start this due to the similarities that a lot of us share...the FEAR of the UNKNOWN.... it doesn't matter what side of the spectrum of the relationship your on but I've noticed that most of the time, fear of the unknown causes more harm that anything....if the fear paralysis you to stay in an unhappy and or unhealthy relationship.
I know this is a site for ADHD support but as we all know: ADHD is typically coupled with some other form of MI and it's hard to distinguish whats doing what.
I'm creating this topic in case anyone would care to join me in venting about it, as April 15 gets very close.
My ADHD and Marriage and Income Taxes story is not as painful as many people's, I know. But it's painful enough for me.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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