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Hello everyone, 

I'm a women from Belgium, since 3 months I have a relationship and yes my partner has ADHD, he told me from the begining and after 2 months I start to notice that we react on things completelly different. So I bought myself a book ADHD relationships, witch brought me to this site. The book is a huge confrontation for me. 

I just came downstairs from cleaning.  It is about 7 pm.  My spouse says to me "Do you want me to go get chicken for dinner.  It's Friday.  Isn't Friday my day to cook?"

I actually giggled and say, "Yes.  Yes it is."

Huzzah!  I did not mention to him that it has been well over 6 months that he has "forgotten" .  But I share it here, as I know others will stand with me in utter amazement, wondering what the heck just happened.  

I smile.  I cheer.

I said, "Thanks.  After all the stuff I had to do today, it means a lot."

Liz 

My spouse has both ADHD and a Frontal Lobe Brain Injury.  He took a nasty tumble down some stairs as a youngster and split his head open.  His parents didn't really address any of the learning issues, communication issues, physical challenges or other outcomes of having a traumatic brain injury so my spouse kind of stumbled through life, school, puberty/development, etc., with severe behavior issues.  

What can you do when your ADHD partner refuses to believe there is anything wrong with him and that it is everyone else who has the problem?  He agreed to go for an evaluation and was told he may or may not have ADHD based on a test he did on a computer.  The therapist said he could not prescribe any meds even if he did have ADHD because he has an alcohol dependency problem.  A catch 22!  Now we are back to square one.  When I mention ADHD, he just says, "I thought we already covered this...there's no problem."  Any advice for an ADHD denier?

I'm so done. I just can't go on in a phony relationship anymore. My husband is 56, takes his meds only for work. I have never seen him on them. Therefore I get the spaced out zombie that hyperfocuses on tv every night. I dread the weekends as they are worse. He does not ever vocalize any emotions or thought, good or bad. He never criticizes me, but never has anything good to say either. He makes me feel completely invisible.

I am really struggling to accept my inattentive ADHD partner. I struggle with feeling overly responsible for him. I know that being angry or showing him that I am angry doesn't resolve the issue, it just brings up a lot of shame on his part. 

I left my husband of over 30 years more than five weeks ago, and the peace, calm, and freedom are intoxicating.  I miss the way he used to be long ago, but this separation only reinforces the idea that if we have any chance of making our marriage work there need to be some enormous changes.  I had asked him to seek treatment for ADHD/depression, and he did restart medication.  I take that as a positive, but the depression and inaction  that have kept him stuck and unemployed for the last 5 and a half years are truly scary, and no amount of Adderall will change that.

I just had what I would call a huge success so I thought I would take a few minutes to share it with everyone.

In another topic I recently posted about pointing out successes as a common experience it seems (on both sides) as how this can be interpreted either good or bad depending on perspective and circumstances.....it was suggested I put my particular story under this section under "progress" I've made.

Without going into all the details of the story again....if you are curious you can go and find it (I'm sure) and it will complete this picture.

http://www.additudemag.com/slideshow/40/slide-1.html

I read this article in ADDitude Magazine with great interest.  So much insight.  Gives me a very clear view of the internal workings and daily emotional struggle of my spouse.  

So, as I have said in so many ways, so many different times, I have the greatest empathy for his struggle.  Not blaming him for our lives issues, not feeling smug in my own opinions.