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Didn't know where to put this, but this topic seems to fit the bill. As I share my introduction I will try not to sing to the choir, but I'm sure that I will.

My partner and I have been together for 3 years.  He fully acknowledges he has ADHD.  He simply refuses to acknowledge he has any of the symptoms associated with it.  I know that mood swings are common.

Maybe this is a redundant question, but I was wondering something. Does the adhd by itself cause folks to blame others for their inability to do certain things? or is it their way of coping with constant failures on certain issues? I know there is a difference in the frontal lobe of their brains, and certain behaviors are difficult and challenging, but I was just wondering about the blame part. Any ideas on this?

I want to learn how to re-negotiate - well, our lives!  LOL!!!

My outlook for the past 29 years has been "us as a couple" and "my marriage."

Boy, I have everything enmeshed together - the construction business, our relationship with families versus each of our own relationships with people in our families.  I walk in and out of permeable boundaries that really mean nothing.  And it makes my stomach churn.

We swapped cars so that I could use his truck to move into my new place. He kept telling me he was going to wash and detail it. How we needed to meet early so he could get it done. Uh, it takes me about 20 min to do that well and HE'S the one claiming to be a master detailer:/

Well, he claimed no time to detail it after washing it. Not even a quick vacuum. 

Short version: We were engaged and living together, along with his twin autistic 18-year-old boys (VERY difficult kids who have serious anger issues and can be violent). Two months before our wedding, he said he did not know if he wanted to get married - that he had not grieved his wife's passing, that he had never had time to be himself. I found he had been surfing a dating site. I caught him in a bunch of lies and DEMANDED that he call a therapist.

I have been reading the contributions on this site for almost a year now and feel that I should make my own. Whilst reading up about child ADHD I happened upon a link to adult ADHD. I clicked and read and it was the biggest and brightest light bulb moment I've ever had.I have been married for 30 years. Like so many of us, I met and married my husband after a whirl wind romance, having been in a steady relationship for 5 years. He was, and is, a good man. He was, and is, a good father.He has always worked hard. But he has been a bad husband.

Unbeknownst to me, most of my adult life has been impacted by ADHD.  I signed on to a dramatic history.  My (ADHD) husband was an only child raised by an undiagnosed ADHD single mother who was wholly unequipped.  He grew up with an alcoholic, drug addicted, suicidal, unpredictable mother.  Sadly, she died alone, estranged from her son and only grandchild, never having gotten an ADHD diagnosis despite having seen many psychologists and psychiatrists.  We also survived my husband's own drug addiction (which he bravely and successfully fought).

I'm on Vyvanse.

1. How does it work? Not mentally, I mean does something else effect me besides the amphetamine?

2. should I feel it controlling the ADHD immediately, Once I feel the amphetamine kick in? or is it something that has to build into my system like anti-depression drugs do?

3. Should it last after the amped feeling is gone? Or should the ADHD control continue for the rest of the day? Because It seems to work for my procrastination. But it wears done in about 9 hours and I crash, making my ADHD worse.