How do you stop nagging - or reminding?
I don't feel like it's my job to help him remember to do things. Yet there are things that he's taken on that he won't let me help with. Those things sometimes have a time-sensitive component to them, so if they are not done in the time that they need to be done, there are consequences.
Hello - I have been with my partner for 8 years - I left the relationship after the first year but decided to return. It is long and complicated and I feel I have been confused about my partners behaviour and ways of seeing and doing things the whole time I have been with him. I have come to the end of my rope with trying to understand - I am the only one in the relationship trying to understand our relationship!
This was the question of Mineola, tucked into the middle of another thread, which I tried to answer and then clicked some weird button on my mouse and... poof, it was gone.
Mineola, thank you for your post. I think it was on this household tasks subforum. You were concerned about sounding narcissistic. You don't!! You sound like me, who grew up with a very narcissistic family influence and became determined to NOT be that way. Took me years to even recognize that it is OKAY for me to have needs, much less to define them.
I am in a very similar situation to much of what I have read on here. My husband and I are actually divorced now. He said he didn't want to, but has been terrible to me. We had an amazing courtship. But marriage was a different story. He ignored me during my whole pregnancy and we lived in hell as we fought false accusations of abuse from his ex girlfriend whom he shares two daughters with. She was jealous and made up horrible lies that hurt the girls, and our entire family. We spent over $80k defending him in court and paying for her legal fees.
Hello - Just a quick bit of advice really. Hubby and I are looking for a verbal or non verbal clue for when he is talking too loudly - which he does when is is really animated.
I so badly want to tell my mom, sister, friends and coworkers about all the things H does like not going to work, lying about being at work but really just killing time someplace else until I leave for work and then coming home, lying about pretty much everything, not having any money to contribute to bills, etc. but I never have. I only tell everyone about the good things he does. As far as everyone knows we have the perfect marriage and there's not a thing wrong.
I have been with my ADHD partner for 3 years I have 2 kids 1 from a previous relationship my older child a boy who is 8 and my daughter is 10 months.
My husband, like many of the spouses here, has depression and anxiety along with ADHD. As far as I know, he's not taking any medication now ("they don't help," his words). He's not in therapy. I think he seemed better when on meds and in therapy. Tonight, the death of Robin Williams is weighing heavily on me. Any ideas for encouraging a person with untreated mental health issues to get back into treatment? Thank you.
A quick definition: There is no commitment to a way of thinking and no concern about that lack of commitment.
Combined with ADD: Picture that lack of an inner core of Who I Am, smothered in a host of defensive behaviors, well practiced, to ward off criticism.
It's a normal stage of development, generally resolved in the teenaged years. I think it's a stage that some ADD simply never gets around to. Too distracted, too... busy fighting off criticism, or self-medicating, or whatever.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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