The lies and deceit kill me. And some of the things he says. Its incredulous that he thinks I believe all the stuff he says. And sometimes he lies to other people in order to cover up a mistake. Its like he is trying to project an image of being perfect.
This fire pit idea of H's has been brewing since January. He killed the grass in February where he was going to put it and we had a 12' x'12' area of dead grass for months Last month he finally got a tiller and tilled up the dirt and grass in the area. Then that sat for 3 weeks with nothing happening. Saturday he got sand and gravel delivered. We got tarps for both items to be dumped on but they were no way big enough so we've got sand and gravel falling off onto the grass and into the neighbor's yard because our houses are so close together.
I have been told by a professional counselor that I may have an "overzealous concern making things right for others". I was not that way before marriage and family. I remember myself being very independent, possibly even self centered. How did I get to be the exact opposite of what i started out to be? Our first years saw me expecting dh to do the financial responsibilities and me the home and family responsibilities. When the financial thing just didn't happen from him, I thought I HAD to pick it up. I expected a commitment to the marriage and family by both of us.
In marriage or in any close relationship, don't you expect to get some feedback from your "other"
when he (or she) acts upon some suggestion you've made? It doesn't even have to be a suggestion. Could be a simple thought expressed... anything (examples are failing me)
My husband was diagnosed almost three years ago. He went through different stimulants which did not work particularly well for him then on a higher dose of one of them he seemed to suffer some nerve damage. One side of his face went numb and has not entirely recovered 2 years later. He has been on Strattera since. He says he has felt a little more in control at work, but at home I don't know if the meds are that effective. He is still twitchy and constantly looking for stuff to do (everything but face our marital problems). What other medications are out there?
I know when you're in a relationship, you're suppose to talk to your partner about your issues, but I don't really have an option. Little bit more on that in a moment. It's wrong, and I know that. But I need some advice and I don't know where else to go. Here's the problem. Whenever we're around my bf's mom he makes me feel like I'm his second option. Hell, even when we're not around her. It's almost like shes God and she walks on water. He worships her. If she falls he's by her side helping her off her feet in 2 seconds flat. Me? He asks me if I'm ok and goes on his merry way.
I'm completely new to this forum but feel a mixture of relief and anxiety about communicating on here. We think that my husband has ADD. We have been together 9 years and after the honeymoon phase ended, I felt like something was up but didn't quite know what to put my finger on. I thought he might've had aspergers syndrome and set up an appointment. The therapist explained that while he does display many apergers traits, he definitley doesn't have aspergers syndrome but is likely to have ADD. At the time (this is going back c.
I have been with my ADHD/ alcoholic partner for 14 years now. Our lives are not perfect but, with a lot of hard work from both of us, we have continued to grow in our marriage. We are going through a particularly difficult time right now because he has lost his 3rd job in as many years.
Sometimes it is important to remind ourselves why we chose someone with ADHD as a partner... while they can be frustrating sometimes we forget that WE are also part of the problem.
So what do you love about your ADHD partner?
I love that my husband doesn't dwell on things... he always remembers the best parts of a vacation or weekend without dwelling on anything negative that happened. I am the opposite. I dissect every little thing. He helps me to live in the moment.
I read a previous thread about sex in ADHD relationships but that seemed to focus on excessive porn use. My ADHD husband and I have not had sex in the last year and I can count on one hand how many times in the last 3 years. I don't think that he has any unhealthy interest in porn - I guess I would know if he did. We pretty much live separately in the same house. While saying that he loves me and does not want to separate, he is doing nothing to suggest that he wants me around. I am financially dependent upon him - we have 3 kids, two with ADD and I homeschool one of them.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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