Recent forum posts (all topics)

Going to use this thread to note some of the interactions which used to get added to the blur which has been my married life for the past 10 years. These are not sources of angst or any sort of commentary against add or any of the other diagnoses which might be applicable, simply observations by one woman who is trying to be herself in the midst of an atmosphere which makes no sense to me.

I have posted here before, and described something of my journey with what I thought was my partner's ADHD; I have been through thinking there were breakthroughs. I have moved onto other attributions, including the ever relevant 'co-dependence' perspective. What I did not expect to realise is that the truest match of all is NPD/malignant narcissism. It has been a lightbulb moment that makes sense of all else, and makes much better sense of it too.

Saturday I got super PO'd at my ex when I found he hadn't wipes his son's butt good enough. I mean, I went into major shut down mode. I haven't said two words to him since. 

Well, today, Monday, my son pooped himself again. I took him downstairs to clean it and my ex met us in the bathroom. I told him he can either take it from here or let me do it. He took care of it, but once my kid came back upstairs I decided to check how clean he was. Well, I had to use two wipes to get him totally clean. There was even a visible brown spot when I started. 

My DH has been diagnosed with ADHD from when he was a child. He was on medication but then stopped. We have been married for 6 yrs, together for 10- we have 2 children ages 4 and 2. About 5 yrs ago he went back to the dr to go back on adder all because he was having problems focusing on work. He was doing ok and then he was diagnosed with diabetes ( type 1 ) . Between our piling up medical bills, our house and his parents finances he seemed to just spiral. I guess he always had some anger issues and he always feels he knows the right way to do things.

Sept 1 will be my 18 yr anniversary and ALL I can do is keep thinking how can I escape this nightmare? 99% sure my husband is ADHD. He fits all of the typical symptoms (too long to go into). Our 16 yr old daughter has been diagnosed ADHD & she is nearly identical to her father's behavior. My 15 yr old shows tendencies of ADHD but not to the extent of her older sister. So what brings me here? Desperation I guess...I am struggling to hold this household together for the sake of my girls. I have to navigate 3 ADHD personalities and I have to admit I am failing.

I have been reading and learning and trying to turn my attention back to me and what I need to do to survive this (vs what she needs to do). But it is so hard when she continues to learn nothing and keeps putting me in unhealthy dynamics...namely parent/child dynamic....for which I am really trying hard to work against! So here is where this week worked out: WE have been in the middle of buying our home, where we live and run our business from (a child development school). It has been a very long process with many delays (not good for someone with ADHD in terms of holding their focus).

Hi - my husband and I are reading through Melissa's book about the ADHD Effects on Marriage (loving it - such a relief to have these issues finally explained) and I'm just wondering - how different are the seminars from the book? Do the seminars provide more/different information or are they based on the books but expanded with more anecdotes, etc? More detailed info on the seminars would be appreciated. I checked out the info on this site about the seminars but maybe I missed something?

Thanks.

I'm throwing out a question here about anger. My ADHD husband is getting better about his anger issues, but he still takes serious offense because many people think he "looks angry".  People find him hard to approach because his facial expression and body posture make him look like he is mad and angry about something. He's complained about this before, and YELLS (which doesn't help) "I'm NOT ANGRY"..."I'm just thinking about lots of things",  and I've told him that I've had the same reaction with not talking to him at certain times because he indeed SEEMS very angry.

I am sitting at my desk looking out the back sliding doors.  The birds are all over the feeders, directly off the west end of the deck.   The awning is swaying gently.  There to the right - is the barn.  And buckets of stuff.  And a wheelbarrow.  And totes.  And metal.  And rolls of plastic pipe.  And an old cart for stackable chairs.  And some plastic milk cartons full of miscellaneous things.     

I have tried. 

I've been pleasant, kind, gracious, communicative, appreciative, and loving. 

We have been together all day long at work for a year and a half,  so my firm resolve to pursue a sense of normalcy for MYSELF, regardless of his antics, has been quite noticeable. 

I do not discuss money with him anymore. I keep the books and review the balance sheets with his business manager. The business manager tells him, "Do not spend any money."  Last night, I got shouted at because of that.