Long story short: I have been with an undiagnosed ADHD boyfriend for three years. I found this forum when one day I googled “chronic irresponsibility.” I have done everything for my boyfriend.
I've been with my wife now for over 6 years. We have 2 boys, aged 2 and 5. When we first met, it was great. We had lots of time to give towards each other and we loved each other very much. Over a month ago, my wife told me she is leaving me because of the way things had been for the last 5 years, the way I have been. This was a slap in the face for me and triggered something in me to start putting things together from my past. I went to see my doctor and I am now in the process of testing for ADD. The signs are all there and I admitting that there is something wrong with me.
I forgot this board was here and when I searched my own name I saw how much I used to post! I am 43 and have been married for 19 years to an ADHD husband. Our 15 year old son is fine, our 12 year old son has Asperger's, sensory issues and anxiety. Hubby has had two jobs in the past three years--fired from both. He has been unemployed since January with nothing on the horizon. I am not even really sure what happened with this job because the story he told me doesn't make a lot of sense.
I am divorced from my ADDer (my choice). I also have an ADD daughter, although she's not biologically related to my ADD ex-husband. She's the child of my first marriage. Neither first husband nor I have ever been diagnosed with ADD. But my second daughter, although never diagnosed with it, clearly has it. Her son has been diagnosed with it and the similarities are striking.
I was on a break at work and got on Facebook and saw that my husband was on there as well. After a little bit of chit chat I asked him if there was anything we needed for dinner that I needed to pick up at the store on the way home. He said "Let me go check". He then logged OFF of Facebook and has been logged off for 15 minutes now. Ummm....helloooooo??? Really? You lost focus on that task in 2 seconds??
“Disappointment is a sort of bankruptcy - the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.” ~Eric Hoffer~
“Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger." ~Chetan Bhagat~
I am surely wondering about direction. I did not get good instructions on marriage by watching my parents. My Dad was a raging alcoholic. Mean words were his backlash at us.
Hi, I once had a boyfriend whom had ADHD and learning disabilities. Sadly we are no longer together. I read lots of literature on the condition but some of it I found very confusing and it wasn't until I read up on Aspergers that I gained some real insight as the two can overlap and are very similar in nature or so I have been led to believe. However I am still some what a little mystified and would be grateful for some feed back.
Remember that old nursery rhyme?: There was a little girl, Who had a little curl, Right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good, She was very, very good. But when she was bad, She was horrid.
My boyfriend has untreated ADD/ADHD and his coping mechanism for disappointing me is avoiding me/being rude. He started a new job where he has to work overtime every day, and he has been rude and condescending when I try to plan anything. We had an appointment to have our cat's stitches out on Saturday morning, which he agreed to go to. Our cat is hard to handle and I don't have a car, so I needed help. He tends to have "no control" over when he falls asleep at night; he had agreed to come over Friday night. By 7:30pm he still hadn't left the office but said he was leaving soon.
My husband and I have been married for 19 years and I'm so happy to have found this site. I will try to make my post to the point...but there are so many details - and I'm so frazzled - I'm not sure how concise I can be. I'm so very thankful to know I'm not alone in this ADD-world. I am struggling with MANY things in our marriage right now - here are some of the main ones:
**EMPLOYMENT:
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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