This drives me nuts! He is the cook in the house so I leave him be in the kitchen to make dinner and I am the clean up crew. I walk in the kitchen after he's cooked and the silverware drawer is open along with the cabinet where he got the dishes out. In the bedroom when he takes a pair of socks out of the drawer he doesn't close it. What is it in their brain that makes it so hard to close a drawer after you open it?
We have been talking about stuff and it seems to me that he wants me to stop being hurt and angry and be all nice to him, watch my tone, tippytoe around him etc. but he has not tried changing anything for me. He's still ignoring me when I talk to him, still emotionally shutting me out, still accusing me and flipping out at the slightest thing. I don't know why the burden of change is squarely on my shoulders as if my changing will suddenly make him change.
Is this ADHD or something else? When I speak to him, he does not respond. It's like talking to a wall. I wait and wait and wait, then I say, "did you hear me?" and maybe I will get a response, maybe not. Sometimes he will say, "yes, I heard you." and then I have to continue to squeeze communication out like the last bit of toothpaste in a tube. Our discussions are always prefaced with a preliminary period of non communication which sets up the actual conversation:
Me: Hey Bob, what's time is it?
Him: (silence no reaction.)
Me: (waits)
Him: (nothing)
I am so depressed. I don't even have to say anything to be the brunt of his anger and frustration and insults. I am called down and belittled on a daily basis. I made the mistake of falling in love with the sweet side of him. It's been five years. Fairly sure it's co dependant as well. Given up any hope of normalcy. I am 45. 46 this June. I feel used and old and stupid. I don't want to be with him anymore. When we argue and I tell him to go to live with his mother, he does but I end up feeling like I was too hard on him.
I realize that many of the ADHD spouses have good jobs and are good providers but this is directed to those who are experiencing the same situation as I am. I married my husband 7 years ago and he relocated to be with me. He assured me he was in a field that he could work from just about anywhere, where as I have a client based business that I couldn't move. Over the past 7 years he has had over 40 jobs, most of which he has quit but he has been fired from a few. He has had some health issues and is now more limited in what kind of jobs he can accept but most of the jobs he has quit hav
I have been here on this forum a while. A little over three years.
This topic came up in the Slug Box and I decided to create a new topic. As in many relationships (both ADHD-affected and not), money and finances have caused stress in my relationship. Here are some things I've done to protect myself and my children from what I would call my spouse's financial irresponsibility (checkered employment, doesn't deposit income regularly, pays bills late, is afraid to talk about money) Please feel free to share your techniques and comments.
Hello,
I really hate when we have unstructured weekends. You would think this would be a good way to get things done. However, it seems to be a good way for my DH to start yet another project and leave in undone. I am really, really, frustrated today and need a little "misery loves company" to help me feel like I am not alone. (Because, as I look through my neighborhood, I feel truly alone. I see well-kept yards, no piles of various crap laying in yards, not random holes dug, garages that are neat and organized ...with cars parked IN them!!!
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