Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi,

I have been visiting this forum for about a year and after reading.listening to the book realized I should have posted a long time ago as people seem to have the same experiences. If you've been where I am, I'd  really appreciate your advice on what I can do t avoid walking away from my Marriage.

I've been posting on this forum on and off lately, trying to figure out whether my husband might have ADHD. I have a strong suspicion that he does, but it feels like such a battle to get him to admit he might need help that I'm starting to feel like just giving up. We've been married for a little over 2 years, and it's been just about the hardest period of my life. I think often about divorcing and getting my old life back -- conflict-free, financially secure, perhaps a bit lonely but more or less devoid of daily stress.

Just my 2 cents.... I've been only recently diagnosed ADHD. And my partner is frustrated as hell with the ensuing depression, disorganization, and lack of interest in EVERYTHING that I seem to feel these days. So on top of my pain I very acutely feel HIS pain as well. I've been reading several posts on the topic, by the ADHD and their partners and YES! It is a super frustrating condition for anyone it touches. That being said..... Before we get hung up on Labels....

I am really at the end of my rope and would appreciate any feedback or advice from those who know where I'm coming from.

I finally left my husband when I lost my job, because he hadn't tried to look for a job, or done anything to maintain our house, in over a year. Someone in a relationship has to work, and someone has to keep the house and cook the meals. That can be co-operative or you can go with one works and the other keeps the house together. But someone has to do it. Our divorce was final on Friday.

My husband displays sort of a strange dichotomy in his interpersonal relationships. He can get along with anyone when he wants to, can turn on the charm and (for lack of a better term) bullsh*t his way through any social interaction by appearing very friendly and agreeable. People who don't know him well think he is the nicest guy in the world.

I'm writing this as I sit alone in our apartment waiting for my husband to come home, or to even hear from him for that matter. I have known my husband for a little over 3 years, &  became aware of his adhd about a year ago. That's about the time I discovered this site & began printing out posts to share with him in hopes he would realize his adhd is real & have g very negative effects on our relationship & his life. I knew that he was diagnosed with adhd as a child & that he didn't have much guidance or support from his family growing up.

I have been married for almost 15 years and for the last 6 years we have really been struggling. I have only stayed for the kids and my son who also has many issues. Over a year ago our son who is now 7 was diagnosed with ADHD. We both knew without saying it, even the doctors pegged it by meeting my husband that it was coming from him. Typically,the way things have worked in our marriage the last six years is that nothing is really done until I am completely miserable and want out.

It all started when I got laid off from my job.  My boyfriend (ADHD) and I were having trouble paying the rent on our place (since he doesn't work) and we had to move out.  Not having anywhere to go, his father, who owns an apartment building, said we could live in an illegal basement apartment (exposed furnaces/water heaters, generally unpleasant) in the building.  I would pay $150 to cover the utilities and his son would need to engage in a work exchange helping him out with maintenance etc.  We've been here for about a year (I've since gotten only a part-time job) until last week when hi

Dear ADD Husband:

I don't want you to leave.

But I think it would probably be the best thing for both of us.

I have a tremendous amount of anger and hurt and resentment and I know it has negatively impacted almost every interaction that we have/had.  I truly believe that a lot of those feelings have been generated by something that is beyond your control (adhd).  But I don't know how not to take it personally, nor do I know that I'd ever be able to learn how to.  Maybe I'm just not a big enough person.