Recent forum posts (all topics)

Newbie

Hi I'm new to this forum.  Thanks for allowing me to contribute my story.  My six year marriage has been on the rocks for awhile now.  My wife has ADHD and I'm the non-ADHD spouse and it's been pretty awful.  I believe that dating an ADHD person is really great but being married to an ADHD person is awful.  And I'll explain why.  When dating an ADHD person, they hyperfocus on the new relationship 100% and it feels really great!  However, once the hyperfocus shifts to something else like a new career, then the ADHD person starts ignoring, abandoning, neglecting and abusing their partner.  Th

I didn't get to say goodbye.

Short version of my story goes like this: 

 

My husband had ADHD, but he coped with it extremely well and made it work for him. He got a different job, and during a long night working on a project (spreadsheet stuff - not ADHD friendly) a friend, who also had ADHD, offered him adderall to "make it work." It worked incredibly well, but instead of seeking professional help, he started self medicating. Fast forward almost a year. My kids and I moved out when his adderall habit reached 200 mg daily and he lost control of his anger.

Our Petty Ugly Parts need Honor and Love

Pretty Ugly Cry

Everyone looks ugly when they cry.
With the pureness of our hearts we testify.
Laid bare with love we wish to fly.
Our daily death help us to defy.

Our moulting melting shell
From which our souls rebel
Bursts open to be born.
A sacred self forlorn.

O have reverence for our tears
For to you we have exposed our fears.
See the beauty of our cry
For some painful part must die.

How to communicate without upsetting each other?

My boyfriend has been my best friend for 7 years, and we have been dating for over 2 years. We have a lot in common and care about each other deeply. When it comes to communication, not only are we stuck, it devolves into feelings being continually hurt on both sides. We can't seem to break through, and his reactions keep us stuck in the cycle.

Husband blew up during worksheet discussion

I don't even know what just hit me. My husband and I sat down to listen to Session 3 of the couples seminar, and we were discussing our worksheets beforehand. During our anger worksheets discussion, I said that I answered one of the questions according to my resentment because I don't really have anger. He asked me what I was resentful for. Normally I would not answer because in the last 6-8 weeks, he has been very irritable, and little things set him off. But I figured--hey, we're having a nice honest talk, so I will try to explain.

ADHD spouse and step daughter

I have been married for one year to me ADHD spouse. He was just recently diagnosed, but refuses to treat because he says the military won't allow it. Our therapist called bs on that, but he still thinks he has it under control. To make matters worse, his daughter is super ADHD with a number of other issues that he refuses to address. I have patience for one, but not both. The only time we ever argue is when she is with us. Up until about 3 months ago that was only sporadically, but now she lives with us full time and it is a huge challenge for me to balance it all.

Helpful insight

Hi. I'm new here, but I'm totally in.  I've been married to a woman with undiagnosed ADHD for 13 years now with 6 kids.  My wife just got officially diagnosed a few weeks ago, after I had basically given up on "my plight" as a man condemned to live in "trash can".  This is how I often felt.  That feeling of giving in was good in a way, but anger and resentment always seems to creep back at some point.  

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