Recent forum posts (all topics)

How Can I Be Heard?

My husband has ADHD. He is currently being treated (and has been for a couple of years). We have been married for 12 years. For several years now (ever since we had children), I have felt VERY alone and unsupported in the marriage. I work full-time, but feel that I do most if not all of the childcare and housework. Whenever I ask him for help, I feel like he agrees to be more helpful and support me in any way that he can, but I am always frustrated by what seems like a real lack of effort and follow through. He is works very hard, but seems distracted and withdrawn most of the time.

Thank god for this forum.

We're taking the home course right now on week 4. Haven't done all the homework and reading but just listening to the audio and talking is already helping a ton. My DH is the one with ADHD. We have 2 kids. I want to ask all the ADHDers out there, does the positive praise and encouragement actually help you all to do better? Sometimes it's hard for me to see changes in DH when I've noticed a good change or something we've been working on and he follows through.

Today's ADHD moment is brought to by-Me, My, Our and We

DH with undiagnosed ADHD has a bad habit of listening to everything I say to people, especially on the phone when all he can hear is me not the other person and then he tries to have a dissertation over the exact words that I use. He gets very upset of I use the word me or my when we talk about things like the house, the car, the business etc. Half the time, I am not even awake or paying attention. Like if the other person asks me "How do you drive to work." I might say a variety of things.

Having guilt all day long.

Last Friday, our youngest wanted to have a friend spend the night. My girlfriend suggested a slumber party. Each child invites a friend for the slumber party. We have five girls between us, and that meant 10 girls ranging from ages 7 to 10 having a slumber party. I did not object. I decided to take the day off work and clean the house, do laundry and the shopping; I did not inform my girlfriend that I decided to take the day off. I also made preparations for their slumber party while having our five girls all day. I picked up three of the five girls before leaving to see a friend.

New diagnosis

I finally went to get tested for ADHD a few months ago. Never could sit still, pay attention, read a book for pleasure and had problems with binge drinking. It never bothered me enough to do anything about it. My wife recently told me she was unhappy with our marriage, which i admit, i was totally oblivious to. She said we don't really communicate with each other. She also was fed up with the binge drinking, with the most recent episode ended up with me blacking out while peeing and waking up with my head through the wall.

I'm invisible I don't exist

Yesterday morning, he left before I knew he was gone "to work?". He does not have a place of business, just a small warehouse full of his junk where he "hangs out" saying he is working there or he is "on the road" and will mention the name of some old client. He does not say good bye. He didn't come home until 10pm. He didn't say hello or good night. This morning, when I asked where he was he said, the "shop" and then went on his way without saying good bye. This guy needs NO connection AT ALL!

How Love found me.with my ADHD

Dealing with ADHD is no picnic, from the perspective of the one without ADHD. I have ADHD but I know what I am great at and what I am not.  i apply Just-World Hypothesis to my proclivity at any given time and determine whether the outcome is satisfactory. As I type this entry, I want to be with my girlfriend who is peacefully sleeping in our room. I could sit here and interact with the computer all night long, but I know it's counterproductive. She wants me by her each night but I have insomnia.

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