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Communication is a huge issue for those with ADHD, and it definitely is with my husband. Part is probably due to the way he was raised, too. His mom and dad are horrible at talking to one another.

Salutations,

Hello.  I wanted to let the people in the Northwest know about an ADHD relationship one day seminar being hosted by ADD Resources 4/13.  http://addresources.org/  Keynote speaker is the comedian from TotallyADD.com and the PBS shows ADD and Loving It, and ADD and Mastering It.  His wife will also be participating.  I'm hoping it will be a good introduction for my ADHD spouse on just how impacted our relationship is by his symptoms, and my reactions to them of course.

After reading many of these threads, it seems a common theme among us "nons" married to ADHD spouses is "the breaking point". It may be after 3 years or 30 years. It could be their diagnosis, finding this site, or a particular incident that gets us to this point. But, it seems like we all have a moment when, after years of being hopeful and thinking it will get better, we realize that this is our life. They won't change. ANd you have to decide if you can live with that or not.

I've been Married almost 2 years now. but we've been living together for a year. I was in another country and I had to wait for a year to be with him. There were fights about small stuff when we were away from each other but nothing too big.

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD when I visited a therapist a couple of months ago in a desperate attempt to help myself and my son find a way to deal with ongoing emotional abuse from my husband. 

Oh man, I've only been married for 3 years, but I am ready to tackle two jobs and being a single mom just to get out of this relationship. He's not even that bad yet.....I'm just too independent and used to being single to deal with having to mother my husband. He has every single symptom of ADD. I don't really know the difference in ADD and ADHD, but he has no hyperactivity problems. He comes across as pretty darn lazy. Because of him, I'm the one with the hyperactivity, but I like to call it extreme multi-tasking;p

We are in financial tight straights at retirement.  dh pays for a warehouse/shop at $6,000/yr. He is not making a profit anymore with it. The majority of the space is storing junk that he doesn't want to see or cope with so he keeps paying the rent instead of clearing it out.  He has taken money out of his small retirement fund to pay for some of this and some other business debt.  I told him to cut the warehouse footage in half at least and get the junk out so he could pay half the rent for it.  He said he would make a call.

I don't even know where to start!  Should I share what my problems are?  Do I share my history with my husband?  How can I help our relationship?  What do I need to know?  What do I need to learn?

I have been married for nearly 13 years.  Things were fine the first year, though my husband would say things like "if I decide we are going to move, we are going to move," and things that showed he felt he was in charge.  He has always been the breadwinner (and a good one), but is extremely tight and controlling with money.  He would frequently tell me what to do or reprimand me for being forgetful.  He often "parented" me-- I remember one time I had set my keys on the bench at church and he hid them in order to teach me a lesson.  He stood there talking to someone while I looked frantical