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I have read Melissa’s book ( and several others regarding ADHD ) and have read many posts in this forum over the past few months.  I still do not know some of the acronymns but decided it was time to throw our story out there to see if anyone had comments or could offer any insight.

Hi! A little about me first, since this is my first post.  I'm nearing 30 and have been happily unmarried to my ADHD man for six years and change.  I know this site is all about ADHD and marriage, but not everyone can marry, and some of us choose not to.  Almost everything is still germane to any long-term relationship with an ADHD partner, so I've been finding the site very helpful!

Here's the story of my "relationship" with someone with ADHD.... I think, this might be something new for you all...

"The kindest thing someone can do for a practicing alcoholic is to leave him. That is because propping him up will only keep him longer away from doing something positive about himself, before it is too late. Fact is he may think he is O.K. and not that bad, if someone is putting up with him or propping him up, as the saying goes." This quote comes from http://howtosurviveaa.com.  I am not sure my dh is an alcoholic.  I do feel that beer is his best friend.

Hi all

Having been married for 20 years, 2 teenage kids my husband has recently been diagnosed with ADHD.  This put a lifetime of experiences with him into perspective. And it has put a light on my loneliness.  Reading lots of the posts here I identify and empathize with so many experiences.  

I am going through a hard time emotionally right now, because my older daughter is graduating from college next week, and I'm finding it difficult to separate my thoughts and memories of her time at college from what else has happened at the same time.  Just before she graduated from high school, approximately four years ago, my husband was fired from his job.  Although he earns a little money by working for his parents, he has not looked for a job since getting fired.  Things have been and continue to be hard for us financially, even though I've been able to work more.

I noticed that my ADHD boyfriend's perspective on almost anything is dependent on his mood.  This presents a problem since his mood is always changing drastically.  Here's a great example:

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So, is this just another of the aspects of ADHD?  Hoarding?   

I was first learning about ADHD around 1995 when my son was in first grade.  As time progressed towards high school, his backpack was definitely the 'black-hole' that is so common with ADHD children.  I could clearly understand its correlation with executive function.  He was unable to discern what to keep and what to throw away.  It seemed to never fail, if he did throw something out, he needed it at a later date.  So, his way of coping was to keep it all. 

The goal here is to note all "events" in my marriage. I hope that through this they won't fade away. Very shortly after an altercation I have a very hard time remembering what was said. Hopefully I can note details here and learn something from the reminder.

This is more for me than anything. Not actively looking for input or response, though that is welcome. Doing something like this in a journal is an activity I've always hated, and probably wouldn't follow through with.