Recent forum posts (all topics)

I need to vent to someone who understands!  We all know about the difficulties with finances when living with a spouse with ADHD.  My spouse is self employed and I am in college.  The 20th of the month is approaching - we have lots of bills due on the 20th - insurance, utilities, loan payments, etc.   There is an upcoming work convention next weekend for my spouse and his business partner.  4 days away learning, 4 days with no income, plus the pending travel and hotel expenses.  I remind my spouse of our approaching financial crunch time.  Throw into the mix that he is very hesitant to hire

1973  My minister made me repeat these words after him and said that this was God's holy ordinance in the sight of the church .... "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."  I promised to OBEY!!!!!

For those non-ADHD partners and ADHD partners, well, to everyone in a relationship with ADHD, please read "Loving someone with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Susan Tuschudi. It's from a non-ADHD partners perspective, but I think it can benefit all who read it. Let me know what ya think. I did a lot of thinking after I read it. I know my ,marriage is beyond repair (in my eyes), but I am hoping it can help another's.  :)

The book "Loving someone with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Susan Tuscudi is amazing. It is from the non-ADHD partners perspective, and I think it is very usefull (to both partners). I hope it helps those in distress. My marriage is too late (in my eyes), but there is hope for others.  :)

So, yesterday my ADHD boyfriend of almost three years comes to me and casually asks me if we should get married this Spring.  While, I was open to the idea I said we should wait until after Spring as his sister is getting married in May and we had the usual talk about kids and timing and stuff like that.  Well, we went from that yesterday to him asking me to leave today and here's why:

Hello everyone! I am new here and could use some encouragement.

I'm reading the Dance of Anger book and trying to do some of the work, but I'm so confused. She has you "begin to observe your characteristic style of managing anger," and I'm all over the map with my husband. 

I overfunction with my family of origin: I have advice for everyone and move in too quickly to rescue, take over and fix, I pretend I don't have problems and am the expert. I'm the eldest daughter with two younger brothers. 

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, one month ago. In the past we have broken up before based on his behavior. Basically it took breaking up for him to hear me even though I had been saying that something bothered me every day for a year. But this was how we did it. i would talk he would say he understands and then...wait for it...yes, it would happen again the very next week or day even. Our last break up was fairly long. He snores loud enough that someone across the house with their door shut and TV was up all night. He was given a C0Pap machine but refused to put it on.

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but I'm wondering if anyone has favorite books or websites that help with ADD organization. I'm not trying to organize my DH, but from what I've read so far, I think I would really benefit from a more ADD-centric approach to organization and I know my kids would, too. My executive function skills are not very functional. :) I struggle with unfinished projects, piles of papers, folded but not put away laundry, procrastination, lateness, etc., etc., etc. My kids can't keep their rooms clean to save their lives.

My wife and I have been having struggles around yelling, and perceptions about yelling. When she is angry or frustrated, she often responds by yelling. When I ask her not to yell, she often says "I'm NOT yelling!" Or she responds even more loudly "THAT wasn't yelling. THIS is yelling?" Or she replies sarcastically "Oh, give me a break." When she responds in any of those usual ways, I feel belittled and dismissed, which then gets ME angry, and things just escalate. I've been trying to get her to see that what doesn't feel like yelling to her, DOES feel like yelling to me.