Recent forum posts (all topics)

HAVE NEVER POSTED ANYTHING TO THE INTERNET, SO IF THIS LOOKS OUT OF PLACE I APOLOGIZE. I WAS READING ON THIS WEBSITE MEMBERS ACCOUNTS OF GOING OFF OF ADDERALL AND HOW THAT HAS HAD A NEGATIVE IMPACT ON MARRIAGE. THE ACTUAL PROBLEM I AM CERTAIN, IS THE ADDERALL IN THE FIRST PLACE. IT RECONFIGURES THE BRAIN TO CREATE A SELF ABSORBED PERSON. IT IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR A SELF ABSORBED PERSON WHO HAS NO EMPATHY TO BE A GOOD MARRIAGE PARTNER.  I'VE SEEN THE MOST SENSATIVE GOOD PEOPLE TURNED TO STONE BY THIS DRUG. IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL. MY WIFE, SOON TO BE EXWIFE.

I came to this site months ago and introduced myself and my relationship with ADD.  My husband and both my children have been diagnosed with ADD.  I've had some health issues and other family members with severe health issues that have kept me away from the board for some time.  As I struggle again and felt the need to come back to get some words of support, encouragement, advice, etc... I just sat here reading (and maybe I just haven't read the right topics yet) and thought WTF!  

I am trying to make out in my own mind, what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I find myself at this point crazily OBSESSED by my husband's distracted attitude and lack of any emotion/action/feeling/responsibility.  What is going on here?  I had the idea that for a marriage to work, each spouse did have to do some compromising and supporting the OTHER.  This has not worked for me.  And as I look back, I try to think, what WOULD have worked?  As it turns out, I think I did the best that could be done by anyone.

I purposely stayed away from this message board for about a week. My husband left, and I read through and contributed to several posts in here trying to understand what's going on.

I've been telling my friends about the situation, what led to all of this, and why I felt ADHD was contributing to my husband's unhappiness in our marriage.  I also explained how there were so many unfair things in our marriage, such as him not looking for a job, me having to be the mommy and keeping him on track, and so on, and how I blamed ADHD.

I am almost three months pregnant and my DH has no shown any interest in me or this pregnancy, unless he wants to have sex that is. I do all the housework, I take care of the dog, I cook (or he doesnt eat) , and I do ALL of the household shopping. He goes to work and comes home to the computer (we have netflix). I was at my breaking point before I found out I was pregnant and thinking of separation. The unexpected pregnancy has thrown a wrench in my "get away". Im so unhappy with him, and our relationship. He just recently started taking non-stimulant medication for his ADHD.

I go in and out of deep mourning for the loss of my marriage.  I'm not divorced; my husband is not dead; but the combination of ADHD, depression, and perhaps a personality disorder have affected him so much that I believe that our relationship is not one of mutually supportive partners and that it never will be.   I realize that it would probably help if we were divorced, but right now, that is not yet a possibility.

I keep doing the wrong things.

Over the years dh has talked a lot about "unconditional love" as though it is the holy grail for all relationships.  Me, always one to try to see "all sides" to every coin, tried to accomadate this notion toward my own "growth" and liberal perspective. He would treat me like I was invisible, do and say hurtful things and then at night say to me, "A good marriage means to never go to bed angry." In other words, it was up to me to do all the work of forgiving him for his lack of love and then forget, forgive and love him - I did that....stuffing how it really made me feel.