Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am in the process of leaving a 20 year marriage to a man with substance abuse and ADHD.   He only decided to seek help after I left.. despite years of me knowing something was terribly wrong.  While he is improving I no longer want to stay in the marriage.  This has been more of a parent child relationship and I believe he needs to learn how to be on his own and take care himself through the help of his therapist.  Im finding a common thread from reading through this forum that ADHD'ers tend to be self centered and narcisstic.

So emotionally exhausted now, can barely write. 

Married for 7 years, didn't know DH was ADD until well into marriage. Have had years of emotional abuse, violent temper rages (NEVER against me) with throwing things, slamming himself into walls, saying, "I'm going to just kill myself." 

I am so sad, frustrated, unsure right now. My husband of 1 year (together for 2 before that) and I have recently decided to separate....sort of. I know, truly I know, that I need to RUN and not look back. I have heard all of this advice from those who have lived it. I have ignored the red flags, and chose to marry this man after discovering (through this website) that undiagnosed ADHD is what has been affecting our relationship all along (and his two previous marriages I might add).

May I please ask, how is ADHD diagnosed? My husband and I have an appointment coming up soon, to get his ADHD evaluated (upon my request). My biggest worry is to say all the negative things regarding my husband (to the Psychologist) in my husband's presence. I feel like I will be putting him down.

I thought maybe we'd had a breakthrough tonight. My under-treated ADHD husband really seemed open to talking to me about our marital troubles. He was teary eyed and said how he was sad about our relationship and how he thought maybe I'd be better off if he were hit by a car (I energetically told him that would make me very unhappy). When I asked him some more questions about what he was sad about in particular he said it was because we weren't having sex. I asked him if he was sad because of the actual lack of sex or because of what it meant more broadly about how we felt about each other.

We were told a year ago that my husband had ADHD, but he says it never happened. I've been reading and trying to change the way I react to him but he is withdrawn from our marriage and gives his attention more to his adult daughter and her family. It seems he can only love one person at a time and she has been it for the last couple of years.

Hi everyone,

2 years ago I was diagnosed with ADD. I am a young (27) mother of 3 beautiful kids, a wife, a student, a daughter, and a friend to many good people. I am one lucky woman, but I didn't always feel this way. After my daughter started displaying ADD symptoms, I realized that I could relate as a child to exactly what she is going through. School, and relationships with others were always a struggle. Even though I had many friends, I always just felt like nobody "got" me. Teachers and everyone around me would always tell me I needed to try harder, or get it together.

My ADHD husband is crazy! I am so focused on work and my kids that I don't have any room for any sad moments or any chaos right now,is that so hard for him to comprehend?

Apologies in advance for the long post - this is the first time I've ever gotten any of this out. I have read through SO many posts on this board, and it is amazing how much I can relate to so many of you. Whilst I have derived comfort from this, it also scares the absolute hell out of me.

I have been with my boyfriend for four years now (lived together for three), we are both in our early-mid twenties. He has just been diagnosed with severe ADHD - we are at the beginning of the process at the moment, so I am unsure as to what sub-type etc. at this stage.