Recent forum posts (all topics)

My hopes for a normal relationship with my ADHD husband is far beyond my self...I always try to make the best out of the best of times with him...he would be good for about 10 days or so then the same things would repeat it self over and over again...I am so tired and hurt,all my life I have been let down by my friends and family and then the only thing that might look up as genuine or a secure relationship( is a disaster)..My husband is/was to be my main source of happiness and comfort,which is sometimes there but then the bad side never seize to show up..

I thought I'd start a create a new thread on this topic, which has been getting a lot of play on another thread lately.  

I wonder if my husband, who has ADHD, has a hard time finishing tasks not only because of the attention/focus issue but also because of perfectionism.  It seems that he might be thinking, "If something is to be considered done, it must be perfect."  And, as we all know, the state of perfection is nearly impossible to reach.  So, by not finishing, one is also avoiding whatever feelings are experienced when things are not perfect.  Any thoughts about this?

DH seems to be OK with just a hello and goodbye relationship if I weren't trying to get his attention some times....in good and bad ways.  When we talk, it feels like I have to help him get words out. All his responses are thought out for a LONG time (me waiting to hear what he is going to say). I am left with the wondering, Have we done this suspecting/frustration/hurt dance I do to his concealing/diverting/dismissing routine for such a long time that we get deeper and deeper in our negative expectations of each other and it gets worse and worse?

I am fortunate that family members have helped me financially, especially in the years since my husband lost jobs and did not seek out new employment.  I currently am feeling secure enough to want to invest some of this money instead of having it in a very safe (read "almost zero interest") account.  My husband and I have some shared investments and so the logical thing would be to go to the broker who oversees those investments and ask him to oversee my separate money, as well.

Hi all,

I have to post quickly and then do my nightly routine of lunches, clutter fun, and school work.

This is going to sound ridiculous:  I am a lifelong stomper.  By this, I mean that in spite of the fact I am a normal-sized person, I have been known to "walk like a herd of elephants," to quote my mom when I was a teenager.  I don't mean I am having an adult tantrum.  I mean that for whatever reason the way my foot strikes the ground is loud; it's my gait (no, I am not like Quasimodo).

Hi Everyone

I am new to this site and this is my first participation.  I want to start by saying a huge big thank you.  After reading some of your stories I feel less alone and more sane!!!!  I am sure that most of you have felt, like me, that you are loosing your mind and that there must be something terribly wrong with you.  My adhd man can be so convincing and manipulative at times that in the 11 yrs we have been together i have questioned myself and my own values and sanity.

So, I've just been doing my thing lately...  A lot of the nice, simple, thoughtful sort of stuff we've been talking about in other threads, that you non-ADHDers keep asking for.  I've been trying to focus less on making her happy, and more on doing them simply because they're good things to do and I can do them.

Anyway, in a lot of my recent posts I've complained about my wife's resistance.  She hasn't bothered to learn anything about ADHD, she doesn't want to talk about it at all, she withdraws, she picks fight over insignificant things, and so on.  But...

I have been married for 28 years and only after seeing the Today Show piece on having a spouse with ADHD did it click with what was going on in my marriage. My husband is kind and well-loved by everyone but me. Living with him and managing him, his mouth, his inability to be on time, manage our finances, have anything but a parallel conversation, and generally fulfill his role as a partner has, in my opinion, ruined my health.