Recent forum posts (all topics)

Getting him to understand...

I'm already frustrated with the hubby going back to school. He's been at it a week and half and has already missed all four of his classes once and has been late to all. He keeps up with his school work and does well on his assignments and tests. But I'm afraid his instructors are going to throw him out for missing class or being consistently late. Honestly, I think if you can keep up with the work load and make good grades, then not coming to class shouldn't matter. But the school admin doesn't feel the same way apparently.

How do you pull yourself out of the cave/avoidance pattern?

This is something my husband and I need some help/suggestions about.  Someone mentioned in another thread that my husband seems to do well when things are relatively calm (the way most of us NTs do) and when things take a chaotic turn he tends to spin in place without being able to get his bearings (also in a way that happens to many of us NTs when we are overwhelmed).  It is true that he basically has the same pattern a lot of us have, but the frequency, duration, and amount of outside help needed to resolve it seem very different.

The Irony of ADD

My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 7 next month, with two small children and a puppy (because I'm crazy and thought I needed more work on my plate).  My husband was diagnosed with ADD about two years ago.  He has suffered with it undiagnosed for his whole life.  When we found out it was ADD it was the biggest relief to know that there was a reason for our conflicts and his struggles and there might actually be hope.  Two years later, he has tried multiple medications and combinations of medications.  We've tried counseling but have not been able to find a counselo

Lies and Infidelity

For the past six years, I have been dealing with an ADHD spouse who cannot stay faithful to me.  The women I have found out about are all people he works with.  Honestly, I don't know how he latches onto these people (and how he hasn't been fired for sexual harassment).  The first time I found out because we got slammed by a massive phone bill due to excessive texting.  I saw that there was one number in particular he texted between 60-80 times a day, and sometimes at all hours of the night.

How do I get him to say what is wrong before he forgets?

Sometimes my husband gets so down and won't talk to me about what is bothering him. Last night it kept him up until 2am. But then the next day when he feels better I ask and he says he doesn't remember. I believe him. But how do I get someone with ADHD to talk when he is bothered??

New-Help!

Just wanting to introduce myself, then get right to point.

Many have suspected husband has/had ADHD since childhood, large family so parents didn't seem to notice.  Husband then experienced brain injury 7 years ago and since then...downhill slide. We are in couples as well as individual therapy and he is officially diagnosed ADHD with other neurologic problems.  Dealing with him is like a drunk 5 year old on speed. He won't admit he even has ADHD, took him two years to agree to testing.

Work or fun?

We seem to have gotten to polar opposites of fun/work linear scale.  My married life has been about building, maintaining, planning, working.  DH has been about having fun, being personable, sense of humor, talking his way around things, jokes, his own pleasure experience.  I slid into workathon when I thought that if he saw me  have fun, he would get distracted and think he deserved more fun that he is already having (he has a distorted sense of what is fair) and he would abandon his work and promises and have only fun abandoning more of his share of work.

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