Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone. I've been reading this forum for a while but I'm still pretty new to all this. I feel like I am running out of options here, so I would really appreciate any help. Sorry for the long message.

My ADD husband and my relationship is non extent anymore. He wants the relationship when he wants, so its on and off all the time and i can't live like this anymore! We don't talk, don't really touch , hardly around and internment unless he wants it. What am i ment to do even when i have tried everything i can think of and tried some stuff from here?

I have given energy and time trying to figure things out since I found this site in March and since my mother died at the end of last year.  I believe I went into a bit of a depression/anxiety and DH withdrew.

To be resilient, I get to let the past go.  Learn from it.  Accept the reality. But rather than live in the resentment of the past or the uncertainty of the future, I am trying to find some balance and peace.

We are always told that if you have a problem, go see your doctor. What do we do when the doctor becomes the problem?

He's by far one of the best things that's ever happened in my life. He's incredibly sweet and caring, and attentive. The thing is, he used to smoke marajuana, but quit because he went to jail. He shaped up for a while but i recently found out he's been doing it again with his friends. We're currently not talking and i feel so betrayed. I know he's impulsive, so i tried to talk it out with him but because of his ADHD he said that he was overwhelmed and couldn't deal with it at that point. I would love to help him get back on the right track. He's a great person and he could go so far.

Not saying good bye when leaving.  DH regularly just leaves home without saying a word.  He leaves at different times in the the day as he works out of a big designated home office (even though he is there only about 1 hour a week).  I have a profession out of a home office also. He spends most of his time when home smoking and drinking beer in the garage and doing crossword puzzles (on the average of 4 or 5 hours a day). All of a sudden he is gone and I am left with the sound of his car going out the driveway.

My husband and I have our issues. He has ADD (probably, evaluation still pending), and none of us has had any idea about how to deal with it. The last few months has been bad. Really bad. Then, the other day I bought the book "the adhd effect on marriage" and started reading it right away. I hadn't been reading long before I started crying. He of course wanted to now what was wrong. So, I had to tell him that I finally started to understand him. And that I felt really bad for blaming him for pretty much everything the last few years.

My mom, hubby, and I were having a convo today...very good day btw.  Everyone in my family gets along awesome with my hubby which can be a tad frustrating when they think reminding him and getting irritated with him and sometimes taking a tone (mind you when I have already asked or reminded nicely several times) is not being 'nice enough' to him.   He has also in the past seemed to get off a bit on the victim mentality, so it is a bit of a button between he and I.  Because I don't feel my family belongs in all my business, I don't generally deal with them on that kinda thing.....I take it u

I have been a lurker here for a couple of years, often drawing strength from knowing I was not facing some strange altered view of life. 

In November, after ready The ADD Spouse, I chose to leave my spouse permanently. 

Lying, procrastination, depression, medication shifts and all the rest of the yucky underbelly of dealing with someone with ADHD was just too much for me. Don't get my wrong, my ex is an amazing individual. But being a great person in the heart and being able to function in a family are very differnet things.