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Is this your house?

Hi,

I just recently discovered this forum and like many of you I am relieved to find that there are so many people in a similar situation to mine and that we can support each other.

My wife is a physician and she has diagnosed herself as ADD. After doing some research, I went from being suspicious that ADD was a made-up condition to really believing that medication for it was my only hope for keeping my sanity. By using this forum I hope to share my struggles and coping strategies and hopefully get some feedback.

New user. Save your hellos.

Incredibly angry and upset. Been this way for a LONG time. Doesn't matter what I try and do, I get NO WHERE.

So upset and current situation. Have ZERO patience or tolerance for anything. Very P$$#ed off.

Do we get to blame people here? How about we start with GOD WHO MADE ME LIKE THIS! Why don't we start with Him?

All my life I have been F###CKED UP. From the very beginning. Oh, wonderful child. So intelligent. Can't focus. Can't concentrate. "Classic underachiever." (Always loved that one.)

What do I do to make her feel visible? I went upstairs to plug in my cell phone. I looked at my phone and was distracted by an news article. I was up there for at least 15 minutes.  I didn't ask her what she was doing before I went upstairs, and she was trying to solve a problem with her website. Both kids were running amuck (one kept asking for ice cream even though it was just before dinner, and the other fixed a bowl of cereal without asking, again, before dinner). She was yelling out to me to come help but I did not hear her downstairs.

So, yesterday my wife sends me a text, "Hey, is there any way I could borrow $20 until Friday? (though I had more gasoline than I actually do)"  She said needed it "tomorrow-ish".

I told her I probably could, that I'd see what I could do.  I didn't have cash to spare in the checking account until I get paid next, but I had one credit card with extra room on it...  I could put the gas on that, and send in an extra payment on Friday.  When she got home from work later last night, I let her know that I could cover some gas for her.

I come to this site and write down my frustrated, angry and full of rage feelings and feel purged a bit and heard.  But I am realizing that what my anger is really, is an attempt to save myself from the powerlessness of my situation and the sadness and disappointment and loneliness and some fear that comes with something being out of control and in a downward spiral.  I am disappointed and ashamed of myself for letting myself get into financial ambiguity.

So his check for the bills bounced.

When confronted he started spouting all this unrelated stuff at me.

It was everything n the kitchen sink.

He started screaming I didn't pay bills on time. Ummm.... would love to, but it's related to the situation at hand.

I can't take much more of this.

I am so worried about the effect on our kids, etc.

We nearly lost our house, plus he nearly lost his job over his gambling in December.

I'm pretty sure it's happening all over again.

Why he can't self evaluate I'll never know.

 

 

the more i read on the internet, the more i ??? the real truth!!!! please tell me how much of the omega-3's i should take?? i have no medical insurance because brain surgery 15 years-ago. i'm trying to fix myself, not a easy task. But for the first time in my life i understand what's going on in my head. My family dr. is trying different meds to help me. i have lots of HOPE!!!

My husband an I have been together for 7 years. It has been frustrating but I pushed through in hopes whatever was wrong would work out as he is amazing. Sometimes I couldn't believe things he would do. I would feel forgotten about, lied to, ignored. Then loved wholeheartedly like nothing happened. This week we discovered the problem is ADHD. I have such mixed emotions! A realease of the bitterness of the times I felt ignored. A letting go of all the wondering why I would get so confused. Feeling better about my standards and not feeling so out of line.

I hit a wall with my ADHD hubby this morning. I know it's just a temporary setback but its so easy to get bent out of shape.

He started back to college yesterday and I'm super proud of him. I've helped him along the way (filing financial aid, doing the paperwork, helping with registration, etc.) and he has said that he was very appreciative of my help and couldn't have done it without me. He's been to school before and got decent grades, but tardiness was an issue. He's without meds right now and I meant to make an appointment with his doctor last week, but I forgot to.

I must say it was a relief to find all the information about ADHD relationships in forums and blogs online. Finally, many bits and pieces have fallen in place and now I think I might understand what just happened in my relationship that ended abruptly about one month ago.

SIX MONTHS AGO