Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been a lurker here for a couple of years, often drawing strength from knowing I was not facing some strange altered view of life. 

In November, after ready The ADD Spouse, I chose to leave my spouse permanently. 

Lying, procrastination, depression, medication shifts and all the rest of the yucky underbelly of dealing with someone with ADHD was just too much for me. Don't get my wrong, my ex is an amazing individual. But being a great person in the heart and being able to function in a family are very differnet things.

I consider myself non ADD.  I have a sister who is often irked with me for not having things "buttoned up" in my life as SHE would like them.  She has an air of superiority and rolls her eyes and uses a disdainful tone of voice.  We are both a little OCD.  She is much more than me.  She has money and is extremely proud of herself.  I would call myself about average in pride and money.  But I get to see and feel how it is to be the one who knows I COULD do better or more and sometimes I feel bad for letting her expectations (and my own) down.

7 years of marriage and two children later and it's finally time to end things. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but I wasn't aware that he had it for many, many years into our marriage. I was seduced by a charming, attractive man who was once my world! From the day we got married I cooked, cleaned and tries to be the perfect wife. I even let him have several boys nights out with the guys because I trusted him. Two weeks after we got married I sat down to our laptop and found him still logged into his email.

Does anyone know of a short, concise, printable list of common ways that ADHD effects a marriage?  I want something to show the counselor on Monday just in case they have not read about it.  I'm too emotionally drained and feeling too much anxiety right now to write one out myself, and if it comes from another source other than me, it might serve our purpose better.  Any links would be very appreciated.  Thanks!

...when she's been up all night, it's 4:30 in the morning, and without any word her mother hasn't yet come home from the birthday party she went to last night?

Pb.

I know others of you have offered some advice about what meds worked for you, but I figure it's time to post my whole medication saga in the hopes that maybe there is a better way to find the right med/dosage for me without just picking at random and giving it a shot and then trying again over and over until somehow eventually stumbling on the solution.

Going to put this post here even though it is not your typical happy ending. So many posts and comments here filled with such pain and an utter loss of hope where the non spouse has given up in hurt and anger and/or has decided to forge ahead and make his/her way to a better, less painful life by ending the relationship. I'm in the latter category with one thing to add: I adore my husband. I love him so much that I just want to see him happy.

"Thanks for getting so much of the cooking and cleaning done over the last week or so...  I've just been so tired from the extra training getting ready for my new position at work."

Pb.

This is my first post.  I read Melissa's book, and others, and it all rings true for my husband and I.  We have an appointment on Monday to see a counselor.  My husband doesn't agree that our relationship issues stem from ADHD, but I know that they do.  I "worked on myself" for years, I did counseling, thinking maybe I'm depressed, maybe I have postpartum depression, maybe this is anxiety... it got to the point where my insurance company wouldn't support any more therapy for me as a "reason was not clearly defined."  He was so good at making me believe it was all my fault.  The resources I