Recent forum posts (all topics)

My diagnosis was almost 3 years ago at the age of 43. I have apologized for my actions, I always take my meds, I'm working on correcting poor coping skills, I read a lot about my condition, I post to learn more and hopefully help a few others along the way. My DD#1, recently diagnosed with ADD caught me by surprise, but it all made sense when I started putting all the pieces together. My wife has pretty much discounted ADD from the very beginning of my own diagnosis. She thinks there is ADD, but the symptoms are things everyone feels.

My husband was very supportive for 3 days,he was very willing for me to read "Melissa's" book to him and I did,I pointed out all the great things at first like the part where "things I love about my ADHD husband" and the "hyper focus courtship" and a lot more,he was very fascinated, and wanted me to read more,so I continued ,but, over a period of 3 days.He can't all at once, take it in, so I had to read it in pieces and he was in shock!

My spouse, who has ADHD, spends four days a week out of town assisting his elderly parents.  Thus, I'm home alone (except for the dog) four days a week.  We have two grown children, both in college; this is my younger daughter's first year away.  So being all alone like this is really a big change for me.  I don't mind spending some time alone, but I do get lonely eventually and my husband, despite my repeated requests, has not gotten into a pattern of texting or calling me when he is away every week.  I feel dead or invisible.

I am pretty active on this site today--haven't been able to get time like this for a while. Here is my question: 

How do you handle a conflict when you have young children who are around, or even in the room? 

Sounds almost ridiculous, so to be more specific, how do I handle it when my husband does something that I find unacceptable or unhealthy or unkind, in front of our children? 

Example: 

I wanted to throw out some thoughts I had about all this info we see about adhd and it's effects on adults / relationships, life and work.  Has anyone on this site made the connection between Alcoholism /  the hereditary nature of Alcohol abuse and adhd and the complex woven fabric of family upbringing and current behavior of ADHD individuals that might be more related to the actual effects of parental alcoholism than the adhd disorder itself?  That might have been confusing, so let me break it down.

My husband of 3 years has ADHD. It negatively impacts his quality of life and our marriage. He has no interest in taking medicine or otherwise managing his ADHD because that would be the same as admitting that there's something wrong with him. He claims to like "how his brain works" (I struggled with moderate to severe depression for about 15 years before getting treated so I do understand where he's coming from.) I can appreciate that he likes being him and I want to support him; however, our marriage and lives are falling apart because of this.

I have been reading this forum and decided it was time for me to post...

I am a non-ADHD man living with my girlfriend of nearly 6 years who has ADHD. She was diagnosed while in high school and has tried different medicines and approaches.

.... but she says that she has never been in love with me. This is we will be married 14 years and we have two wonderful children, together. My wife is absolutely my best friend and the love of my life. I have gone to years of counseling to better understand the symptoms and I feel I have done a good job of letting go of the early frustrations I had because I just didn't understand. There are still times that she will say things that will raise the hair on the back of my neck but I just take a deep breath and remind myself that she didn't mean it "that way."

My husband does as if nothing is wrong next day,he was completely out of control last night and really upset and throwing accusations,tantrums,and today he would come and speak to me over the phone as if "nothing" happened.I am in the storm with lots off wind, but the roof has not gone as yet!I am feeling depress,and I need to address this to him or else he would always be this way,but,I can't because I have been educating myself on ADHD and that is not going to change him.Only the will power on his part to change and make change,and to address this ADHD on his own without me parenting him.

This is for all those in relationships in which the ADHD person does not want to try to do better and is angry and verbally attacks the non-ADHD for asking for some cooperation and consideration.  This is also for those who have ADHD to encourage you to keep up with your efforts and let your efforts be known to us so we can both appreciate each other.  Don't let a relationship go on for a lifetime of distraction, heart ache, denial and finally resentment.