Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello

Ive posted here before about my separation. Its been 5months and things are calm. However im now in the mindset of "was what hapoened really that bad - should i go back". This is because ive been in denial, and have PTSD i think. So my ADHD partner of 20years has done the following (that i know of or have found. There could be more):

1. Sexually explicitly messaged another woman 11years ago, prior to proposing. 

2. Messaged his ex girlfriend to clear the air prior to the wedding, stating "dont get me wrong, i do love her but i wish i settled down sooner" - 10years ago

3. Sept 2020 he threatened to leave me, we were not get along at all  

4. He got fired for sexual harassment in dec 2020. Sending a pornagraphic image if a mans body parts to a woman, commenting on another womans "big boobs' and various other inappropriate comments. I helped during the HR process. Told him to resign and he ignored me. The following 1.5years to 2022, he showed no appreciation towards me for suppirting him and building him up again following him getting fired. No dates, weekends away, or generally grovelling. 

5. March 2021 he partially completed a dating profile. It was not and is not active. It has a radom picture, his name and fake DOB

6. I found chitchat message attempts to ither woman dec 2021, june 2022. These were late at night and checking in on them. They did not reply. 

7. He was a frequent pot user from 2005 to 2020. This has now stopped when he got fired. My issue here is he says he stopped it for me. He didnt, he stopped due to getting fired. He smoked everynight from 2017 to 2020, therefore impacting our intimacy levels.

I separated in nov 2022. However all is now becoming real. My children are on a 50/50 custody split which i didnt want and think that is the reason i stayed so long. Am i mad to have left? Is any of this infidelity or cheating? My mind is so warped as i took on the ADHD narrative of its all a joke and no intent to hurt me. Thanks for your help as im drowning without my children. 

Hello All-

I am looking for some advice on how to handle a partner with severe ADHD and RSD. 

Hi All,

Just wondering if anyone else partner has Sensory Processing Disorder, my husband told me again last night that he has it. He says he has been telling me for years, but I'm finally listening to him. 

If so how do you handle it and are there any books to read up on it. 

Thanks, 

Kosty

Hi,

Husband refuses to even consider that ADD is a problem in our marriage.  It has come to the point that if he texts he will be home in 10 minutes that may mean 10 minutes or an hour so I no longer trust what he tells me. It came to a head yesterday and rather than take ownership, he asked why I did not contact him to confirm his arrival time.  No more!  I am done covering and making HIS life easier due to his choices.

As a follow-up to what I posted last year about my husband's ADHD... He has since been diagnosed with a few other things, so basically, he has ADHD, MDD, Anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and most recently, Intermittent Explosive Disorder, and Alcoholism. He is going through extensive therapy and is on meds, but our marriage is over. It all came to a head on Christmas night when he drank too much and turned into a monster. He was literally out of his mind and crazed/combative, yelling at me and my sister and brother-in-law in the middle of the night UNPROVOKED.

My husband's default excuse or argument is always that he "forgot." 
 

It is always he couldn't do the dishes because he always forgets. He didn't do laundry because he forgot. He didn't call the school to let them know one of the kids was home sick because he forgot. he wasn't ready on time to go because he forgot. 
 

I'm a 57 yr old man diagnosed w ADHD in my forties. I've been married 14 years and we have a 12 yr old daughter. This is the first marriage for both of us. In the beginning, our vast differences (her type A personality and my left brain ADHD) were complimentary and sometimes funny. We even worked together for a few years at my creative agency. But after about 5 years, as the household and familial challenges increased, our differences began to divide us.