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My best effort to summarize my painfully long story: I came across this website several months ago.  I began talking about it with my husband.  At first he was open to the discussions and receptive to my apologizes for treating him horribly in result of not know what was going on and just feeling like he didn’t care about me at all.  (He was diagnosed before we met, I just never knew anything about it, and never even looked into it, until our relationship was falling apart before my eyes.)  But very quickly his reaction to my self educating changed.

I am 40 years old.  I "self-diagnosed" my ADD about 2 years ago after my son (then age 10) was diagnosed (Inattentive Type Only, no H).  As a Mom, I dove into research to help him and discovered that this condition is very hereditary.  Then after about a year, the pieces started coming together and I realized that I have it too (same type).  I sought out a licensed counselor at my church who is familiar with ADD and asked my family doctor to allow me to try meds.  My son's improvements with meds are DRAMATIC, but me--not so much.  So I thought they weren't working.

Things have taken a turn for the worse here...

Let me start out by saying that I consider myself extremely lucky to have an ADHD partner who manages his ADHD freakishly well and that we are in a very long long distance relationship which cannot end for another year or so due to previously made and important commitments. Despite this we have a spectacular relationship, which like any relationship has had it's ups and major downs, but unlike any other relationship that I've ever been in I've never questioned that he is my happily ever after. I know, without a doubt, that we are meant to be together.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD when he was a child.  I believe he was put on medication, but I'm not really sure because he won't talk about it at all.  Now he believes he's grown out of it and it doesn't affect him at all.  I can see that it's not true, but he can't.  How can you possibly convince someone to seek diagnosis and treatment if they don't think they have a problem?

 

My husband has been diagnosed with adhd, anxiety, and depression. He has had outbursts where he punched doors, thrown things, pushed me. I blamed his disorder for his outbursts and we have tried to work on things together with the help of a counselor, psychiatrist, medication, and lifestyle changes. The worst of it happened early on while he was drinking. He quit drinkinking after he broke his hand in a particularly bad fight. He was still losing control when he became overwhelmed. Went with him to the doc and he said that his habitual marijuana use negates his meds.

I am the wife to a husband who has ADD and I am at the threshold of stepping over my husband's ADD and out of our marriage.  Since day one, we have been through things occurring over and over.  We've been married for almost 7 years, and since the beginning when things happen....it's my fault.  With just recently getting diagnosed with ADD over a year ago, I was a fool to think things would get better.  They do get better, but not for long before something happens or is said that is.....wait for it.........wait for it........yes, it's my fault!  I can say left, he'll say I said right!

I'm pruning this post, I admit to how dumb I sound and how wrong my behavior has been.

Every time I read this board I cry, cry and cry. I cry out of sadness, anger, confusion, and denial. The man I love with every bit of me decided that he was leaving because he was no longer interested in me; he felt that there was no romantic feeling in our relationship. I swear that every time I look at the ”six signs that ADHD is apart of your relationship” I feel like this is why my relationship didn't work. I wish he would read this board, do some research and STOP asking his friends for advice! My now ex-boyfriend was diagnosed with ADHD in his adult years.