Recent forum posts (all topics)

My Dh and I met tonight and I was under the impression that we were working on a plan to get our marriage back on track, offer up what we each need to work on and let each other know what we need and that we can work towards happiness together. I was so hopeful that this was going to be the point where we would stop spiraling out of control and get back on track - like we were starting to in late last Nov 2010. Well, I was duped. 

I need to talk to an expert, but I don’t know who.

Here’s the situation: I am the non-ADHD spouse of an ADHD husband. He was diagnosed about 18 months ago and has been taking medication – with some improvements. We have many issues -- too many to go into here – that I can attribute to his ADHD.

Ok...Two things.

Im the non-ADHD spouse - married to hubby for 10 years, diagnosed only 8 months ago.  He really is a lovely guy and I do love him, but we are in such trouble that it seems as though we may be heading for the divorce route.  Medications make symptom control better but not perfect... but the issue seems to be that I cant move on from the past hurt, anger, resentment and frustration.  As much as I want to and try, I cant forget everything his untreated ADHD put me through.

I know I'm suppose to be patient and positive, and Lord knows I've been trying, but I'm having huge issues with the emotional over reactions on the part of my ADDer.

They come in bursts and are usually very short lived (as long as I don't engage) and completely out of left field. But when they happen they leave me feeling very sad and like giving up on 'us' completely. 

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I was married to an ADD (inattentive type) man for 26 years. It wasn't too bad until we had children, very late because of his reluctance. I needed help and a real partner, and he was just one more 'kid'. We live on a farm, but he refused to do any farm work, but also couldn't hold an outside job, either. He did a little cooking, and little childcare (when he felt like it). I basically did 90% of all the work. He was depressed and miserable and made all of us miserable. I finally couldn't take him dragging us all down, so I kicked him out and divorced him.

I'm married to someone who I believe has ADHD....I only figured this out about a month ago (long story) and trying to get him to see there is a problem is so frustrating.  After several failed businesses, tons of money lost/squandered, lots of distractions and a marriage on the rocks, I just don't know what to do.  Whenever I try to raise the issue, he blows up, yells and screams and swears and then says I'm not supportive; I just don't understand him; I'm negative; that he's trying really hard and that nothing pleases me.  I can't take it anymore and I've tried everything.  It is like wa

This is a question that I am hoping the Adder's on this forum will respond to as well as the non-Add spouse with how their spouse/partner deal with this issue.

Do you find it difficult to express (speak your feelings, write a letter/text/email, ect) your feelings of love to your spouse/partner? 

Thanks

Ok.  so here I am again, very very grateful for this site btw, cause without it I would have known for sure "I" Was the CRAZY One.  Not that my soon to be ex is crazy it was just his fav way of shutting me up.