Recent forum posts (all topics)

It has recently become very clear to both my husband and myself that my husband has ADD.  He will soon be 'officially' tested, but neither of us has any doubt after the reading we've done.  My main concern is the lack of empathy in our marriage (and god knows I have many concerns about his behavior but this tops the list).  I don't see how any relationship can be successful at fulfilling emotional needs with the lack of empathy I have seen from my husband.  We're talking jaw-dropping examples that border on mental cruelty....but which strangely don't seem to gel with who I really believe

I'm new to this blog, but not new to having inattentive ADD.  After being fired from several jobs after a long and successful career with one company I was finally diagnosed.  I've read just about everything out there on ADD, go to a support group for adults, see one of the best cognitive therapists, and a well known psychiatrist....and I still seem to be chasing my tail day after day.  I'm on meds now and they help somewhat, but not enough!  I seem to be unable to do anything which doesn't interest me, and my house is just a mess!  I can't seem to get it together!

I'm the non-ADDer and all the descriptions on this site about the dynamic between ADDer and non-ADDer are outstandingly similar to mine!

So, I get that part... Most of us feel when we ask our ADDer to help out, do a task/chore, offer a common courtesy or spend time we get a mouthful. Attitude, excuses, "not right now" responses. And it makes our stomach just knot up and anger flares.

But how on earth are we suppose to change how we respond to them?

I have ADD, I've known since I was in 3rd grade.  It was then I was put on Ritalin and just shy of 4 years later I stopped taking it - I felt that as a child it was having an extremely detrimental effect on my ability to develop a sense of self as I seemed to be two completely different people.  On ritalin I had no interest in taking risks or having fun.  Off ritalin I was only about risk taking and being impulsive. 

In September I will be married 20 years.  To most people looking in we have a good marriage.  We have had our ups and downs and I have left once due to having an affair.  But, now I feel very trapped and after watching the Today show I am really convinced that my husband has ADHD and it is ruining our marriage.  In a nutshell.......I take care of everything in the home...laundry, dishes (although he does do the morning ones during the school year) and I must beg, plead and cry to get anything done that I am not capable.  Everything that keeps the marriage fresh is my idea...vacations, any

I had the luxury of knowing my future wife had ADHD before we married.  It has been a struggle some times but well worth the effort.  I could not have been prouder than the day she finished her Ph.D.  I sure wish that a forum like this had been available sooner.  Sometimes the need to share with those who have to deal with similar issues becomes overwhelming and those that don't have to deal with the day to day issues are clueless. 

Roland

I want to keep this short, though I do have a lot to say, not sure if everything or anything is going to make sense as I put it all out here...I'm hurting and I'm so very angry - destroyed - desperate - I don't know how to start this or where to turn, who to talk to... it's been a year and a half. We're engaged as of April (though I am constantly questioning why we made this decision - I love him, I'm just not sure it's enough to keep us together anymore) -I'm unraveling, fast now. I can't handle the ordeals anymore we were happy, once.

This post is directed to the non-ADD spouses/partners who remain in their relationship with an ADD person.

I have been married to my husband for 10 years (known him for 18) and we have 3 children 5 and under (we were optimistic), and one of them has autism.  My ADHD husband really, really struggles with our autistic son (who, ironically, is just like him).  Our son takes ALOT of my time & energy.  My husband is often demanding and impulsive, and can drastically undo the work I am doing to maintain a semblance of consistency and sanity in my home.  That is, I have learned certain strategies that work with our son to prevent meltdowns (that are hours long), keep the peace, and create a posit

So after 5 years of marriage I've - mostly by chance - figured out that my wife has ADD, a moderate form.  No she, hasn't been diagnosed yet - raising that is the next big step - but I'm very careful, have done my homework, and it's just too exact a fit.  It explains so much.  Trust me on that.