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Hi,

I've been married 9 years and only last week, after reading an article about ADHD marriages, could see that my husband is most likely having ADD. We have had a difficult marriage, and I had twice reached the point where I was going to leave, with our little daughter in tow.

I'm new here, so if this has come up before, my apologies.

We have just self-diagnosed my husband with ADHD, after I read an article in a recent newspaper, which sent me to this site. We have no children but all the other 5 symptoms apply. He seems to have accepted this, since it's just so obvious, and to me, at least, it's a relief and offers some hope.

I have recently started on meds for my ADHD. I am 52 and have been married to my wife for 21 years. About a month before finding out that I had ADHD, my wife had enough and told me she wanted a divorce. She feels angry, lonely and like she lost all love for me. At this point we have not filed for a divorce and are still living together with our four childern. My question is how do I get my wife to come to this site to get a better understanding of what she and myself are going thru.

I'm new to this site, and as I read posts, I kept thinking, yes, yes.  From Melissa's list of ADD-impacted marriages, I would think that my husband suffers from ADD.  He has read that & some of the posts and agrees.  It's important to me to understand, as I'm coming close to separation/divorce--total exhaustion of taking on all the responsibilities for both our lives.  We are in our late 60s and I just do not have the physical energy any more.  There do seem to be some ways in which he departs from the "norm": Thankfully, he is not financially irresponsible, though his oldest son is (

 

I'm brand new to the forum.  I'm 35, married for 4 years, one child.

It was actually my husband who found this resource through the New York Times wellness blog. I am the partner with ADHD. I'm glad the topic "Women with ADHD" is here, because it seems that most of the other posts are about husbands with ADHD, and let's face it, in this society husbands already do less than their fair share, so those poor wives are getting a double whammy and are understandably frustrated. (The level of their hate and vitriol is still a little shocking to me, however.)

I am the add person, the other half of the angry posts. I took advice given to me and I read from the site and I am angry. I'll try to keep it short. I have a side to my story too, even with undiagnosed add. Without the diagnosis, my words had at least some value. Post diagnosis, everything has been rewired--I am officially a selfish inconsiderate add person trying to fix himself. Insert here the list of all the things add people can't do. Presto. She Is justified.

I've suspected for awhile that I have inattentive ADD, but haven't been diagnosed.  I've always had trouble staying focused, (in kindergarten I often had to do my work at the teacher's desk or it wouldn't get done) and it's impacted my career, (or lack thereof) and is affecting my marriage.  I lack motivation, have low self-esteem, and have trouble setting or attaining goals.  I will get excited about doing something and be into it for awhile and then it just fizzles out and something else will take its place.  

So here's the deal--I have posted here before.  My DH of 15 years has ADD, both my sons are ADHD as well.  I am so overwhelmed and exhausted it's just not funny.  I have no time for anything, let alone time for myself.  Tomorrow night we are supposed to go to the Bon Jovi concert here in Chicago and I just emailed DH to find someone else to go because I am just not even remotely interested any more.  This week I have slept on the couch twice because of DH's snoring and restless leg syndrome, taken the kids to a water park for two days( hubby didn't come), scheduled a surgery for my younge

I found this site via the NY Times article.  I am the person with the ADD.  I struggle with it, and have had some small help from Adderall, but now I'm taking a drug holiday.  Clutter sickens and paralyzes me.  I've hired an organizer to help me clean up the mess, but recently I had an unexpected catastrophe and lost half my income, so I can't afford much help any more.  I know that I need structure in my environment, by which I mean places to go and things to do which punctuate my time.  But I'm having a lot of trouble finding that structure.