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I am writing to this forum because I feel very isolated in dealing with my ADHD husband. We have been married for 23 years and have a 24 year old daughter. My husband was diagnosed in 2020. He takes medication which he says helps his concentration but the issue we are having is that he also drinks heavily in periods and then his behaviour becomes out of control. Our daughter has always needed extra support in that she has dyslexia, adjustment disorder and an eating disorder. She has not been diagnosed with ADHD.

My partner of 10 years was recently diagnosed with ADHD after me asking him to go to a therapist for years. He finally agreed when I pointed out the impact its having on parenting our child who we suspect has also ADHD (not diagnosed). The diagnosis has helped our relationship in general because we are both more aware of and understanding of the role ADHD has in our relationship instead of taking it personally.

I'm at a loss with this question because of conflicting information I have found, both here  (latest was a 2014 post) and other internet resources. So, I thought I would ask those who are in the thick of it every day:

Does ADHD get worse with age? Specifically, UNTREATED ADHD? 

I understand that my husband with ADHD is not good with planning activities or gifts for holidays. He knows that I enjoy celebrating holidays. With Mother's Day one week away, I already bought myself a gift and made restaurant reservations but my friend invited our family to a Mother's Day brunch at her vacation home about 1 1/2 hour drive away. Our kids really enjoy her place so I asked if we could go.

I tried to stop, ill go a few days without it ans then I will be back at it again knowing how deterimental it is to my unborn baby that I don't use nicotine. He said I was a bad mother, that I didn't deserve to be one, he also said that I was poisoning his baby and he would resent me for life if anything is wrong when the baby is born. I feel so depressed, I love my baby I have waited so long to see him, I just have it hard controlling myself..and I loathe myself for it...I feel like a mountain is weighing on my heart.

Wondering what solutions any of you have. I have been married for almost 18 years and I am so tired of being 'in trouble' with my ADHD husband. Every time he gets aggravated, annoyed, frustrated he blames whoever could be responsible and it is usually me, and often our kids. We have several children from teens to preschooler.

Hello,

New here. I realized 2 years ago that my husband most likely has ADHD and that it was at play in our marriage. He very begrudgingly got a quick assessment from a therapist - a multiple choice questionnaire in the waiting room - and then was told he has anxiety. I let it go.

Cut to, two marriage counselors, one marriage retreat, and individual therapy and I can't get past that this is still at play. I am almost done listing to the book and it is EXACTLY us.

I will be bringing this up in the most careful and loving way I can in therapy on Tuesday with him.

Thank you for all your help.

What I have come to realize over the past 14 years being married to a high level add spouse is, most of my relationship related problems stems from my reactions to her life style...Melissa brings up a good point in her book about spouse's (usually the nons) who are angry, and why they are angry. And the fact this angry does in fact belong solely to the angry party....This truth can be hard to a swallow by the person who's anger is reactionary to intrusive or abusive behaviors....This was me, and still can be at times...I've come to realize that there is no easy way to continue in, and have

Never posted something like this and I'm not even sure if this is the right area to post. I'm in tears as I type this so please excuse if it sounds jumbled... My 51 yr old husband has had ADHD for most of his life - it was always mild and he functioned well in life and with his career. It was never treated in his youth. His parents just gave him a lot of hobbies and he got on with things.We've been married for nearly 20 yrs and there were only a few "episodes" that were ADHD-like over the years and I've overlooked them.